dooblydoo.

Cinta Rasulullah SAW tak ada musim

2012-02-14T01:53:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum semua. Dalam indahnya menikmati cuti bersama keluarga, apa kata basahi lidah dengan lafaz selawat dan salam ke atas junjungan Muhammad SAW. Jadikan ia amalan bukan hanya pada Maulidur Rasul. Juga jangan lepaskan peluang mengikuti majlis-majlis Maulid disekitar anda. Ayuh renungi hadis ini :

Rasulullah SAW bersabda:
"Ketika aku di dalam perjalanan di malam hari untuk mi'raj ke langit, aku melihat ada malaikat yang mempunyai seribu tangan, dan di setiap tangannya seribu jari-jemari. Ketika ia sedang menghitung dengan jari-jarinya, aku bertanya kepada Jibril: Siapakah malaikat itu dan apa yang sedang ia hitung? Jibril menjawab: Ia adalah malaikat yang ditugaskan untuk menghitung setiap titisan hujan, ia menghafal dan mengetahui setiap titisan hujan yang telah diturunkan dari langit ke bumi.

Aku bertanya kepada malaikat itu: Apakah kamu mengetahui berapakah jumlah titisan hujan yang diturunkan dari langit ke bumi sejak Allah menciptakan dunia? Ia menjawab: Ya Rasulallah, demi Allah yang telah mengutusmu yang membawa kebenaran kepada makhluk-Nya, aku tidak hanya mengetahui setiap titisan hujan yang turun dari langit ke bumi, tetapi aku juga mengetahui secara tepat berapakah jumlah titisan hujan yang jatuh di lautan, di daratan, di atas bangunan, di kebun-kebun, di daratan yang bergaram, dan di tanah perkuburan.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda: Aku kagum terhadap kemampuan hafalan dan ingatanmu dalam menghitung. Ia berkata: Ya Rasulullah, ada yang tak sanggup aku menghafal dan mengingatnya dengan hitung tangan dan jari-jemariku. Rasulullah SAW bertanya: Menghitung apakah itu? Ia menjawab: Aku tidak mampu menghitung jumlah pahala untuk selawat yang disampaikan oleh sekelompok ummatmu ketika namamu disebut di suatu majlis."

(Al-Mustadrah, Syeikh An-Nuri, 5: 355, hadis ke 72)

By: TVAlhijrah

THIS WAS COPY-PASTED FROM HERE : http://www.facebook.com/30minitustazdon?sk=wall

Sayu is a mixed of feelings.

2012-02-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

heart thumps and in between lies two kind of things. one thumps flourish with memories that curves your heart into a smile and another thumps delicate longing for something far.

that is the best gift of a feeling that God gave me.

often when the sun is in between and the daylight meets the night for a split second that sayu grips to the very end and deep of my veins and arteries. unpresentable word-wise makes God my one best companion to duplicate every thumping with. afterall, God is my composer of inner feels and thoughts.

good memories infused with longing equals parallel lines of 'sappy'. sad meets happy. to put in simple words. in between. moderate. just like what my God likes.

What i, too, like.

Satu kedai, Melaka

2012-02-11T18:15:00.001-08:00

Masjid Kampung Kling, Melaka ; Colourful as ever

2012-02-11T18:10:00.000-08:00

photographed by: @zaykumikus
edited by: @atira_noorazli

Masjid Kampung Kling, Melaka from another perspective

2012-02-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

photographed by: @zaykumikus

edited by: @atira_noorazli

Masji Kampung Kling, Melaka

2012-02-11T17:56:00.000-08:00

photographed by: @zaykumikus

edited by: @atira_noorazli

a night of remembering our hero

2012-02-07T01:37:00.000-08:00

one night. just one night that it takes. and i am glad that i was given the chance to be part of the night. the sky was dark but calming. like a roof that covers you. making you feel the warmth of the night blanket.

our hero. our best leader. he was celebrated that night. especially that night. the cloud drops some rain droplets for a second or two. i was worried that the night celebration would have to be cut short. but i was wrong. millions angels are spreading mighty wings above God's sky. no rain will pour down on me.

a night like this is nothing like the common nights i used to have. wind doesn't blow until mid celebration. there were many others than just myself but the night felt intimate. like there were none but me, my God and the celebrated one.

whenever i look up, my sight met the moon. bright,almost full moon. i bet the moon was ever so happy to witness the celebration we had that night. i bet the moon was reminiscing the moment it once saw the birth of the hero. and i bet the moon remembers perfectly how heaven-like it was.

the moon, is ever so lucky. it was there when he was born, and it was there too when he forever goes to be with his God. i bet the moon was feeling blue for a moment or two. but God loves the moon, and the rest of the universe and so God wants the moon to stay bright together with the rest of the universe.

The rest of the universe which bears me. So i applaud God's will and stay bright. always remembering the hero who has long passed, but is waiting, forever and always, by God's side.

Saisaki

2012-01-12T04:25:00.000-08:00

Bismillah.

few weeks ago, one of my aunt and uncle treat the whole family to a brunch buffet at Saisaki. That was my first ever Japanese buffet, hopefully not the last. hehe.

i went quite frantic over the food. though i am not an avi japanese foodie, but i do eat them. i love the sushi. they were fresh and unlike the ones i used to buy in JJ. kehkeh. but maybe because that is the first meal i got on the plate so it tastes exceptionally better.

i then proceed to the tempura counter.i was looking at the line of trays filled with tempuras with much hesitation because i didn't know which should i eat first! i ended up with two soft shell crabs, and each of onion and yam tempura. the tempura didn't excite me much because i'm really not much of a fritter fan. but still, it was good.

after that, i just could not remember what i took because i went back and forth from the table to the buffet counter countless times! seriously, i think i was the one who's missing from the table for most of the time. there were so much to eat. i tried all the desserts except for the cakes. i kinda think that cakes are quite common compared to the konyaku or mochis.

Alhamdulillah, at the end of the brunch i was with a full tummy and a satisfied appetite.haha. till next buffet, bye! :D

the sushi

konyaku jelly and moshi and strawberry pudding

nyum! best salad i've had in a long time

l-r: aliza, zayed, grandpa aziz, azlyn, fazreena (shrek the generation before ;p)

pak lang and mak lang (treaters of the day)

l-r behind: fazoora, lica, song hye kyo, qi, fizoo

l-r front: justmei, tis, aaron azli

(some of the cousins available)

coming soon

2012-01-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

cuti dah pun nak melabuhkan layarnya. and it is a quite a pain to bear but still, time moves and it waits for no one. biasa lah setiap yang bermula mesti ada pengakhirnya. dan bila ada yang dah berakhir, pasti ada yang akan bermula.

what's coming up for me is industrial training. even typing it hardens my chest. seriously i don't know when is this nervous thing ever going to get away from me. maybe i was born quite nervous. heheh.

new beginning, new place, insyaAllah hopefully everything goes well. hopefully DIA akan bantu aku untuk luruskan niat so that everything will fall on its place..

imma big girl now! have to be strong and move on with the next step of life. to please my parents and family. let's just put myself after them. lebih happy that way! my dreams can wait.. insyaAllah.

cerita kedai kopi

2012-01-08T19:49:00.000-08:00

panas. dahi dia panas. satu badan pun panas. kesian adik aku. demam rupanya. dah lama dia tak kena demam macam ni. aku tension betul lah kalau tengok adik aku sakit. because dia tak faham sakit tu macam mana. kalau aku sakit pun takpe. biarlah aku boleh jaga diri aku sendiri. tapi dah dia yang kena. nak buat macam mana. mungkin aku tak sakit sebab tuhan nak aku yang jaga dia. supaya aku boleh feel pengorbanan mak bapak aku jaga aku masa aku demam dulu-dulu.

tapi ni kan zaman moden. ubat macam-macam ada. aku pasti, tuhan akan bantu adik aku untuk sembuh. hari ni, aku ingat nak bawak adik aku keluar jalan-jalan kat area dekat-dekat sini. tengok monyet. dia suka monyet. boleh bagi makan.

malangnya , sekor monyet pun takde. ape kejadahla area berbukit bukau macam ni pun takde monyet ke. dulu banyak sangat merayau atas bumbung rumah orang. ni adik aku nak memain dengan ko, ko takde lak nyet. maybe sebab dah petang sangat kot. bebudak main bola pun takde. apekehal lah macam sunyi sangat ni? dulu aku datang sini, ada la orang jugak. ni macam zombi town je.

adik aku tengah tido. kesian dia. penat lah tu. dah lah frust monyet takde. sialan punya monyet. jaga kau. lain kali kita jumpa, aku taknak bagi kau makan kacang. sementara dia tido, boleh aku buat sponging sikit. ayah aku dah pesan. tapi adik aku tak suka. dia rimas kot. pelik jugak, sebab masa aku kecik sponging lah aktiviti feveret aku kalau demam.

dah dekat pukul 10. aku kejut adik aku ajak dia makan. biar aku suapkan lah. kesian dia. nak bukak mulut pun tak larat. dia kata tekak sakit. lepas tu sibuk kata ada bau busuk. bau hingus lah tu. adik aku ni special, ayat dia semua aku patut patenkan. family aku dah pandai tafsir ayat dia. dia cakap macam ni, tapi maksud dia yang macam lain sikit. kadang-kadang penat melayan, kelakar pun ada. dia memang. kalau adik aku takde, sunyi lah kitorang semua ni.

dia betul-betul takde selera nak makan. susah lah macam ni. kalau tak makan ubat tak jalan lah. tapi nak explain kat dia macam mana. aku cuba umpan dengan feveret dia, spaghetti bolognaise. pun tak selera jugak. dia kata bau busuk lagi. eh. busuk ape lagi pulak. higus dia aku habis lapkan dah. baru je lepas mandi tadi. kesian dia. kenapa lah dia yang demam.

dekat pukul 12. tak berhenti dia merengek. nak kata sejuk, bila selimutkan dia buang. nak kata panas, tak jugak. busuk busuk busuk. dari tadi kata busuk. apa yang busuk ni? aku ke? eh tapi aku dah check, memang aku tak busuk lah hari ni. lebih wangi dari biasa ada.

tiba-tiba dia bangun. duduk atas sofa sambil pandang satu spot. lepas tu spot lain. dan spot lain lagi. eh adik aku ni, time-time demam ni pulak dia nak buat perangai. aku suruh dia baring balik, tido. sebab nak hilangkan penat. terus dia nangis. makin laju air mata dia turun. pedihnya hati aku masa tu. kesian tapi apa yang aku mampu buat. ubat dah bagi, sponging pun dah. teruk betul demam dia kali ni. lemah badan dia. dah makin kurus.

kali ni aku betul-betul mati akal. kenapa adik aku nangis non stop. aku mula geram. bukan pada dia, tapi kat diri sendiri. aku bengang sebab takde apa aku boleh buat untuk adik aku. dia mula buat gesture menghalau. lalat ke? takde rasanya sebab aku dah make sure kawasan sekeliling dia bersih, wangi, selesa. nyamuk? lagi takda sebab aku guard dia, kalau ada sekor datang memang dah kena lepuk dengan aku. makin ligat dia menghalau, sambil nangis macam kena buli.

"AKU TAHU KAU NAMPAK AKU..........."

ah.sudah. ayat tu pulak yang terkeluar dari mulut dia. sambil nangis-nangis adik aku pandang tepat pada aku dan cakap macam tu. aduh. gugur jantung aku. terus aku tadah tangan baca ayatul kursi. sambil dalam hati ligat latih diri aku supaya jangan takut. takut aku hanya pada tuhan aku, ALLAH SWT.

aku lupa. aku tak patut bawak adik aku keluar lewat petang tu. patutlah nyet2 pun takde, bebudak main bola pun dah balik. waktu tu dekat senja. kan syaitan laknatullah suka merayau time-time tuh. prime time dia lah tu. aku ni yang bodoh. macam mana boleh terlepas pandang. Alhamdulillah, adik aku dah sihat. dia kembali ceria dan happy go lucky macam biasa. tapi..kenapa aku pulak yang terbau busuk ni?

jengjengjeng!

THE END.

p/s: hi guys, ni cerita angker tahap ciput. hehe. i just type it spontaneously. pengajaran: jangan keluar lewat petang dekat2 maghrib, duduk rumah get ready untuk solat lagi baguih. lagi satu, ingat, takut hanya padaNYA. kerana DIA yang maha kuasa. yang lain-lain cuma hambaNYA macam kite gak. (:

jiwa aku kacau

2012-01-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

oh tajuk post memang tak boleh lagi blues dah. actually, dari semalam i have been drafting posts. Semuanya serba tak kena. nak post ni tak kena, tu tak kena. entah lah.

jiwa kacau. so macam ni lah jiwa bila kekacauan eh. syaitan tu datang melingkar dan mengikat dengan tali liat dan tali malas. sampai solat pun entah ke mana. wargh. YA ALLAH jauhilah diriku yang lemah ini dari belenggu syaitan yang dilaknatiMU. sesungguhnya Engkau lah yang MAHA KUASA, MAHA PENYAYANG dan Engkaulah sebaik-baik pelindung bagiku..amin.

ikut hati memang nak aku lempar sebakul maki hamun pada syaitan yang datang mempermainkan perasaan aku tapi hari tu tgk al-hijrah ada hadis Rasulullah SAW yang menyatakan (rephrased yer) memaki syaitan akan membesarkan lagi syaitan laknatullah itu. sebaliknya, mengucap BISMILLAH akan mengecilkan syaitan laktunallah sekecil2 lalat.

memang la during this times. nak cakap kat siapa pun kecuali DIA. betul-betul hanya DIA yang faham because dengan Allah SWT tak ada rahsia. even if i don't speak the truth Allah SWT already know the truth.

Kepincangan hati yang macam takde ending ni memang melemahkan semangat jugak la sometimes. rasa macam berat je nak buat apa pun. Tengok apa pun rasa kosong je. Nak share dengan siapa-siapa pun rasa macam tak tercakap je. Kalau cakap pun confirm orang tak faham because i myself pun tak faham (:

grrrrrrrrgeramgrrrrrrr

diari

2012-01-08T06:15:00.000-08:00

Bismillah.

Susah gila rupanya nak cari diari with lock! puas merata i look for it but tak jumpa! geram ada gak rasa macam nak jerit-jerit je. such a simple thing like that pun susah nak cari.

i was wondering 'kenapa kenapa kenapa??' then my mom cakap 'ni kan zaman internet. orang semua dah pakai online dah, mana ada tulis-tulis dalam diari lagi'. oh ye tak ye.. so am i the only one who still believes in the old school diary?

everything is digitalised nowadays. ye lah, nowadays siapa yang tak ada ipad? playbook? galaxy tab? aku and family aku je. bagus lah. tak bosan ke tekan-tekan, sentuh-sentuh pixel everyday? sekali-sekala takde ke rasa nak sentuh objek yang sebenar? kalau baca buku tu mesti ke e-book? kalau paperback tak syok ke? pergh... i tell you, nikmat sebenar membaca bila kita pegang apa yang kita baca.

macam tu jugak menulis. istilah pun menulis, jadi tulislah. guna pen ke pensil ke. menaip kan bosan? kat office type, kat rumah pun nak type lagi? sekali-sekala guna la benda yang real. benda yang solid. bukan pixel semata. boleh rabun teruk tau.

Idola you siapa ek?

2012-01-06T01:43:00.001-08:00

Bismillah.

okay so this is the second piece that i'd love to share with everyone. yes , everyone. tak kira anda tu atau muda atau hot atau biasa-biasa jer janji anda boleh dan mahu membaca. First of all, bukan niat saya untuk mengajar sesiapa sebab i know i don't qualify even for the slightest bit to teach. saya yang sangat tak sempurna ni (malah saya pasti anda yang membaca jauh lebih baik dari diri ni) nak kongsi je sikit-sikit pengalaman yang sangat tak banyak ni. k? thank you.

moving on. perihal idola. admit it, there is someone or something yang kita pilih as a reference to ourself. sama ada idol tu kita pilih secara sedar atau tak sengaja terminat, itu bukan the question. the question is, siapa yang ko jadikan idola ko?

to those yang kata "ibu" atau "ayah" i respect you. to those yang kata (isi tempat kosong dengan nama retis) saya tak setuju (: before that, yang jadikan ayah atau mama korang sebagai idola, ye memang lebih elok daripada yang mengidolakan retis, tetapi tukarlah idola itu kepada satu-satunya yang layak which is our prophet Muhammad SAW (:

don't get me wrong, no bukan saya nak kutuk orang yang minat sangat artis ni sampai jadikan idola. sebab DULU itulah saya. get it? cuma semenjak dua menjak saya menginjak ke usia 20 i felt an interest towards Rasulullah SAW dengan lebih jauh lagi. dulu masa sekolah bukan tak ingat langsung. ingat. mestilah ingat, tapi ingat kerana ia fitrah sebagai umat islam sahaja lah. maknanya ingat sebab memang orang islam mesti percaya dengan Rasul Allah. ingat tapi tak menjiwai, nak menjadikan idola lagi lah tak (DULU la). sekarang, belum. belum lagi saya layak kata "yeargh i know who Rasulullah SAW is!" but the effort is there, Alhamdulillah dan semoga berkekalan sampai saya mati nanti.

back to the topic, who's your idol? please, if kita minat dengan artis jangan sampai jadikan idol. which means don't go beyond appreciating their talents. especially to very young kids and young teens, don't make it a habit to imitate the personal side of whichever celebrity you like. unless if it is towards goodness. masalahnya, kadang-kadang kalau dah minat sangat ni, yang jernih amek, yang keruh pun amek jugak! so don't. i bagi contoh, you suka AARON AZIZ, dia father figure yang baik, tapi dia slack sikit sebab dia perokok tegar. so nanti you dah besar, dah ada anak, you jadilah bapak yang baik macam dia tapi jangan lah hisap rokok macam dia. as simple as that la kan. that is to put it in a simple, direct light la.

okay so, you cakap "i nak Aaron lah jadi IDOLA i!". if you ni i kenal, and you depan i, i akan cakap 'JANGAN!". tau sebab apa? sebab idola you pilih tu tak sempurna. dia apa? manusia biasa kan? you apa? manusia biasa jugakkan? so why, why amek yang sama-sama penuh kelemahan macam diri sendiri untuk jadi idol? kalau you tanya balik kat i "then you nak i cari manusia sempurna? baru boleh jadi idol?" i kata "a'ah la. kena la manusia sempurna, hebat, terbilang, terpilih baru layak jadi idol," you mesti lawan cakap "mana ada manusia sempurna!" then masa tu jugak i akan bidas kata-kata you dengan "ada. manusia sempurna ialah Nabi Muhammad SAW. manusia sempurna yang dipilih Allah SWT". kan kan kan. fine, you may look at me and smirk then say "waaa macam bagus lah kau,". tapi lebih baik aku sangka baik so i'd rather think that you'd say "a'ah la.. betul jugak an... bakpo lah aaron.. Rasullullah SAW kan ada...(:".

you see. Rasulullah SAW kan ada. Baginda manusia which makes Baginda relatable to us. Tapi yang melayakkan Baginda menjadi idola kepada kita sebab Baginda manusia sempurna. Nabi Muhammad SAW, gelaran pun Amirul Mukminin, dah kata pun seorang Nabi, seorang yang suci dari dosa, tampan lagi berwibawa, adil dan bijaksana, kelakar dan peramah dan macam-macam lagi. selayaknya untuk Baginda kerek dengan mana-mana manusia yang ada. Tapi Baginda tak pernah sekali pun riak, takbur dengan kesempurnaannya. Kerana hatinya hanya untuk Allah SWT, kerana dia lah manusia pilihan, sebab tu lah Rasulullah SAW je yang layak jadi idola kita.

Matlamatnya bukan supaya kita jugak jadi perfect because obviously we're not and never will be. But idolising perfection can lead us to be the best that we possibily can. ewah, seronok berfalsafah kat sini. So let's, kita jadikan Rasulullah SAW sebagai satu-satunya idola kita. InsyaAllah, every effort towards positivity akan dipermudahkanNYA. doakan saya dan kita semua!

p/s: the usage of the name Aaron Aziz is in no way, to sabotage him ke apa eh. sebab i myself pun suka kat dia ;p but because it seems like he's a good family guy and i just gotten to know that he smokes (hard, just like my dad -_-) so too bad. hehe. hope my dad and aaron will quit smoking soon! insyaAllah

Dear teens!

2012-01-02T08:59:00.000-08:00

this is my sincere advise to all those young teens out there especially those in secondary school. i just thought that this piece of writing could do good to all of you youngsters aged 13 to 17 out there. why 13 to 17? because from my own experience this stage of life is the most influential in shaping who you would be (subjectively).

i am a sister (oldest out of five) so i pretty much feels the obligation to just remind you guys about things that older sisters or brothers usualy tells you. before i begin, in no way am i the most PERFECT teen (when i was your age) or the worst. i was just who i was. and i am today what i was in and has repaired from the past.

Bismillah.

Adik-adik,

act your age. this is behaviour wise and appearance wise. though you feel like an adult wearing pumps and heels, believe me you are not one. fyi, being an adult is not about what you wear it is how you behave. in fact, adult is the result of Allah-given life experience. If you have the experience being alive for 13 years than behave like you are 13. don't go putting on heavy make-ups, body-con dresses, etc. and walk around thinking 'i am a mature young adult'. no sayang, that's just not right. it pains me to even see a 17 year old actress posing on the cover of a women's magazine with tight dress and full on make ups like she knows exactly what she's doing. but i believe, the impact of it is pretty much negative. please, young teens, do not make yourself a victim of situations. even some adults doesn't behave like one not to mention you guys! please. indulge your young age while you can, appropriately.

kalau dah nama budak sekolah, maknanya budak la. and there's nothing wrong with that. nothing. yang nak cepat sangat jadi orang dewasa kenapa? yang tak sabar sangat nak ada life partner kenapa?

okay, i know tak salah nak berfikiran matang. but think the words berfikiran matang through. does pemikiran comes from make up? from heels? from gfs? from your bfs? from acting like your a badass? no. It comes from thorough understanding of what life is. what it means, the troubles, the joys, in short : EXPERIENCES. now tanya diri sendiri adik2 ku, AKU ADA BERAPA BANYAK PENGALAMAN HIDUP? 13? 14? 15? 16? 17 tahun?

i know, and i have seen budak sekolah yang memang matang. cara dia cakap, bergaul. but this really mature young teens does not DISPLAY their maturity through exterior. Keperibadian dia yang menampakkan kematangan. these really mature kids does not TRY TOO HARD to be mature. in fact they are not trying at all because personality (keperibadian) is build naturally not tried. Faham?

yes, akak cakap memang MACAM BAGUS. i won't say i am bagus because i know i am not. but i have seen painful situations where young teens around 13 to 17 (about my sisters age) going around malls hoo haa sana sini cakap lucah-lucah enjoy-enjoy dengan bf/gf pakai macam streethooker padahal baru lepas PMR...baru lepas balik tution, baru keluar gate sekolah. come on lah adik2, why waste your time? Buat macam tu to prove what point? that kau otai? kau hebat? kau banyak pengalaman?

Don't, don't let your self down. jadi la budak-budak. kalau dah kena mak ayah ambik tu mak yah la ambik tak payah call abang angkat la kakak angkat la boyfriend la girlfriend la suruh amek. kalau dah ma ayah bagi duit pegi tution tu jangan la kau melencong pegi wangsa walk tengok movie. lepas tution tu call la parents mintak izin ha lepas tu jalan lah sangat.

faham tak? do you get my point? jangan BESAR KEPALA. kalau parents, older sibs, older ppl advise, you listen. kalau kau sakit hati kau tulis la kat blog ke diari ke twitter ke tapi lepas tu muhasabah la diri. bila dah keluar semua angst kau tu, take back the advise and perbaiki diri. jangan reti nak maki nak emo je dekat social webs. advise parents bagi atas dasar CINTA DAN KASIH SAYANG sebab diorang yang tak tidur tak cukup rehat tak cukup kederat besarkan kau. kalau advise bf/gf kau amik masuk dalam hati then why not take advise dari orang yang bagi kau makan? bagi kau tempat tinggal? and most importantly yang sayang kau lebih dari diri sendiri.

you guys, modal insan. faham? in the next few years, you guys lah yang diharapkan untuk bentuk umat yang berjaya dunia dan akhirat. so why, do you waste your time TRYING to be older than you are when you can use the time you have to REALLY BE an adult when the time comes.

Okay so i hope kalau ada yang baca and terasa pedasnya ha baguslah. Alhamdulillah. maybe my words over acting and macam marah so i am sorry. but i am really concern about this. enough already that me and my generations have done our past mistakes. you guys should not be worst than i was.

You're welcome to leave opinions. ayat kau nak macam mana pun that is your right. TAPI biarlah bernas biarlah berhemah dan berisi. Faham. Thank you.

Aku bukan pondan arahan Lica Curikhani

2012-01-02T08:29:00.000-08:00

fizoo: alamak bro ada mamarazzi amek gambar kita dating eh meeting!

qi rajali: alamaks! kantoi beg kuning i bro

fizoo: eh you rilek je la. jgn la buat muka cuak sgt.i kan ada ni

qi rajali:bro u boleh la nak rilek dengan spek transition. gua ni bro dgn beg kuning carlorino

fizoo: ah posing je lah bro tunjuk lemak eh muscle

qi rajali: you ni bro tak protective langsung. huh

konklusinya. hiburan semata. ternyata fizoo dan qi rajali cuma sedang rehearsal untuk pilem terbaru: AKU BUKAN PONDAN

KL Pac visit (: 3.0

2012-01-02T08:03:00.001-08:00

l to r (duduk): fizoo omar, qi rajali, tis saqyah

l to r (diri): lica curikhani, leeyana justmei

misteri terowong lama

scene: gaduh dalam terowong ala2 nur kasih(?)

band baru leeyana justmei and the boys

side band featuring tis saqyah and lica curikhani and the boys

KL Pac visit (: 2.0

2012-01-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

under the hot sun,glaring, menggaringkan muka masing-masing (ini baru panas dunia pergh). tapi,gambar depan KLpac tu lagi penting. panas pun lantak pi lah.panas pun nikmat jugak. (btw, i hate they way i looked that day.gemuk gila. ke memang pun aku ni tak photogenic?)

'sentul park'

modern hut.cuba buka mata tgk ada tak furniture kat situ?ha ada kan? How creative humans can be.itu pun nikmat Allah SWT.

sebenarnya panas.atas platform tu dah macam nak barbeque kitorang. tapi relax buat selamba sebab semua ni nikmat Allah SWT. tgk air tuh, tenang je. dalam tu banyak ikan comel-comel. peduli hapa kalau punggung nak terbakar

oh mereka ni. diorang memang macam ni. suka dramatik.

KL Pac visit (:

2012-01-02T07:11:00.000-08:00

Bismillah.

last sunday my cousins from Sungai petani came to Kl. Sorang study dekat Kuantan and sorang lagi dkt SP. yang sorang lagi, baru lepas spm. so we decided to visit KL pac.

why Kl pac?

i visited their site few days before and saw the ad for ISLAMOFOBIA stage drama audition. suddenly i felt this urge to try. tapi lupakan soal audition tu sampai sini, sebab i didn't. kenapa? kejap lagi aku cerita.

anyways, we also went there because there is an architectural exhibition. Yes, i am not interested because i know i won't be enthusiasted by drawings of buildings. But then, my cousin and my bro are future architects (insyaAllah!) so we went there.

as expected, the exhibiton didn't excite me and my two other cousins sebab kitorang masing-masing study bidang yang tak kena mengena. those two architecture students nampak bersemangat (betul2 ke, berlakon ke, entah la!) and tgk exhibits sampai habis. haha. good for them!

but the place totally excites all of us! tak sangka lah dekat sentul yang macam tak best rupanya ada tempat best. Kl pac is one of the buildings yang ada in the area (sentul west). it was formerly the HQ of KTM. the buildings are old but refurbished.

as for KL pac itself, a newly refurbished building, very modern with glass walls and what nots. surrounded by a huge koi (and turtle and toman) pond. with a lot of seating areas. very artsy fartsy. dengan tempat duduk dia buat daripada dawai besi (empuk!) and batubata. memang best lah. modern but still, serene. dia panggil tempat tu sentul park.

the pond.macammacamada.cute tak kami.sayang tak semua ada.

see? this is the proof that this area used to be KTM HQ. cool an?bricks.the shape of the building. everything screams OVERSEASSSS

the 'architecture without paper' exhibition.baju kuning dengan yang budak lelaki kat blakang dia tu dua2 budak arkitek.yang third tu vokasional student studying masak2.yang belakang budak hospitality.aku?budak sains.haha.

the interior of KL pac.

the exterior of KL pac.nice isn't it?

Rustic Breakfast

2011-12-30T19:01:00.000-08:00

Bismillah.

so i was up quite early today. Alhamdulillah semuanya okay hari ni. rasa mcm smooth je. Terbukti kebesaran Allah SWT dan kebenaran firmanNYA sebab hari ni aku tak tido lepas subuh. see, if i can do it then you can too!

lepas dah bangun, terus mandi. lepas mandi teringat that i wanted to see my friend sebelum dia balik Dungun cos nak bagi dia something. I pun siap and keluar. lepas jumpa dia my mom asked me to buy breakfast dekat mak cik Nab.

and mak cik nab mmg ada pagi ni. but guess what.. aku malu nak pergi beli! haha. sebab mak cik nad kenal my mom, kenal i, so nnt if i pergi beli breakfast dia ajak borak i nak cakap apa? ehehehhe. yes, i'm weird like this sometimes. ke antisocial? haha.

so i went to another nasi lemak stall yang senang, i tak kenal dia, dia pun tak kenal i. so i can just buy and then balik. kehkeh. Nasi lemak EK. pergh. memang terangkat. seriously. lemak dia cukup, sambal dia manis-manis pedas and dia kecik je. I bought ten of it and drove back home.

sampai rumah, i remembered a picture of a very rustic australian outback breakfast yang i tengok dalam magazine Discovery kat melaka hari tu. grilled tomatoes, pan fried sunny side up egss, and bacons. wargh. meleleh air liur wa cakap lu.

so i dig into the fridge and jumpa cherry tomatoes, eggs and cendawan tiram. i sprinkled some salt an pepper kat tomatoes and cendawan and i pan fried with butter on a grill pan. and then i break (?) to eggs and fried them sunny side up on the same pan.

when i plate them, rasa macam something missing. nak cari bacon macam malas ah sebab dia dlm freezer. so i grill a bun which i cut half on a sandwich maker. result: YUMMEH.

Saturated, i can't seem to go on.

2011-12-29T07:51:00.000-08:00

Bismillah.

I think DWI's story line has come to a stage where it is crappy. Melepaskan batuk di tangga dan yang semaksud dengannya.

i cannot seem to go on with it.

boleh tak nak leave it hanging? Bosanlah cerita sama panjang-panjang.

Dwi & Hakimi (continue..)

2011-12-29T06:59:00.000-08:00

"minta maaf Encik Hakimi, semua room fully booked,"

"what do you mean fully booked? sekarang bukan peak season pun, takkan awak tak ada dua tiga spare rooms?"

"betul encik Hakimi, saya dah cuba dapatkan sekurang-kurangnya satu bilik untuk Encik tapi memang dah tak ada..,saya mintak maaf sangat,"

"aduh...look, give me any suites you have, saya tahu mesti awak ada sparekan satu untuk walk in guest,"

"I am really sorry Encik Hakimi, setengah jam sebelum Encik Hakimi sampai, dah ada satu family check in ke suite tu,"

"Is that so? Memang tak ada lah ni?"

"Tak ada Encik Hakimi, I am sorry,"

"Okay, nevermind.. Awak tolong call a cab untuk saya. Charge lah, saya tahu awak takkan buat for free,"

"Baik Encik,"

"Abang, macam mana? ada bilik?"

"Takda Dwi.. i'm sorry la dear..abang sibuk sangat sampai lupa nak buat booking,"

"It's okay lah abang..how about Dwi balik hari je? lepas jumpa Ain kejap lagi Dwi balik, abang tidur sini,"

"Eh no..no. Mana boleh macam tu Dwi, Dwi nak balik pukul berapa? Nak naik apa? ingat ticket flight senang-senang nak dapat?"

"Habis tu.. Semua hotel takda bilik, takkan Dwi nak duduk sekali dekat rumah Ain,"

"I was thinking.. tak boleh ke? sementara je, while I cari other hotels?"

"Tak manis la macam tu.. Kesian kat Ain, dia nak spent time dengan you,"

"Dwi, i meant you and Ain at the apartment, Abang biarlah tidur dekat kereta pun tak jadi masalah. i didn't expect for Langkawi to be this busy,"

"No lah abang, biarlah Dwi balik dulu, cakap Ain next week Dwi datang..Abang balik lah rumah Ain..kalau Dwi balik sekarang okay lagi ni, tak payah naik flight pun. Ferry je,"

"haha..Dwi..Dwi buat kelakar dengan abang ke? Come on, takkan I sanggup bagi you terkontang-kanting sorang-sorang balik KL. Dwi drive dekat-dekat pun dah macam-macam hal, apa lagi from kedah to KL.."

"Haih.. Dwi tau la Dwi ni slow, careless, dependent.. tapi you didn't need to say like that.."

"say what Dwi? Abang cakap apa yang tak betul tadi? Selama kita kahwin pernah ke Dwi sorang-sorang? Pernah Dwi abang biar tak tentu hala? Yes you are careless, yes you are dependent, sebab tu i won't let you go back on your own,"

"so i am a burden? is that it.. fine, how about sekarang i prove you wrong.. Dwi insist nak balik sendiri, by hook or by crook,"

"by hook or by crook, abang tak izinkan. Habis cerita,"

"Tadi cakap Dwi ni dependent sangat, habis tu ni Dwi nak independent you tak bagi??"

"Ni kenapa Dwi nak tinggi suara ni? Takkan pasal trip ni Dwi nak gaduh dengan abang?"

"Tak ada siapa yang cari gaduh dekat sini.."

"Habis tu? kenapa tinggi suara dengan abang?"

"Dwi tak pun. Dwi nak mintak izin, Dwi nak balik,"

"aduh...lepas satu-satu..then, Dwi taknak jumpa Ain lah? tak kisah pasal dia dah?"

"Bukan..tapi memang dah tak ada rezeki. Langkawi ni bukan besar mana, dah tak ada tempat nak duduk yang logic, biar Dwi balik je lah. Nanti Dwi call la Ain, mesti dia faham,"

"tapi abang tak faham, Dwi. Dah lah sejak abang bagitahu yang Ain ajak datang pun Dwi bagi banyak excuse.Puas I pujuk baru Dwi okay.and then i made a stupid mistake by forgetting to book a hotel room for you and Dwi macam ambik kesempatan ni untuk balik. Why? Nak lari dari abang?"

"Lari? Lari apa ni.. Dwi tak ada pun nak take advantage ke apa. Memang dah tak ada rezeki, agaknya kalau Dwi stay jugak, benda tak elok yang jadi. Lagipun masih terlalu...."

"Masih terlalu apa Dwi.. Speak, tell me apa sebenarnya yang buat Dwi banyak alasan ni. I'm confuse, I thought Dwi suka dengan cadangan Ain ni,"

"Masih..terlalu..baru..Dwi, belum betul-betul selesa untuk.."

"untuk tengok abang dan Ain sebagai suami isteri?? Macam tu ke? habis tu Dwi, yang Dwi beriya kata Dwi ikhlas tu apa? Nak tipu diri sendiri, seksa diri sendiri kan?"

"Dwi pun tak sangka, Dwi tak tahu berat dugaan dia.. Dwi ingat nak simpan sendiri, tapi sekarang Dwi dah tahulah yang Dwi ni tak sekuat mana,"

"i'm...frustrated Dwi..Dwi buat abang kecewa. Abang dah bagitahu you, Dwi. Think it thorough and thorough.. Dwi berdegil..and at last, look at us..Rupanya Dwi sendiri susah nak terima. and how do you think i feel now? Abang cekal hati dan teruskan sebab Dwi yakinkan abang Dwi ikhlas. But now.."

"Dwi still ikhlas..tapi,'

"Dwi, ikhlas tak ada tetapi. Ikhlas tak ada persoalan, tak ada alasan. Ikhlas takkan jauhkan Dwi dari abang atau Ain sekali pun. Jadi selama 2 bulan yang lepas ni, Dwi macam ni la? Saja susahkan diri?"

"Can you please don't pressure me..Dwi..nak balik. Dwi nak balik sekarang, tolong izinkan,"

"Haih....Dwi....... why do you have to do this..Dah 2 bulan..2 bulan baru nak mengaku yang.."

"please la Kimi. i want to go back to KL now,"

"okay... okay.. But let me send you, kita balik sekali and then i'll come back here,"

"But Ain macam mana?"

"Let me handle that Dwi. Ingat, I dah pesan kan.. Please listen to me for once, biar i hantar you balik KL,"

"Excuse me, you callkan i cab ke airport, yang tadi tu cancel. and please, make it quick,"

"Baik Encik Hakimi,"

"Thanks,"

Hakimi bingung. Dia terasa seperti hilang kawalan. Sepatutnya dia sedar dari awal yang Dwi dibayangi perasaan sendiri. Sekarang, dah terhantuk baru terngadah. Hakimi jadi marah. Kenapa harus orang yang dia kasihi sengaja cari pasal? Dia tak mahu walau sedikit pun hati Dwi terguris. Namun terang lagi bersuluh, hati perempuan Dwi terusik jua. Itu yang dia kesal dan marah. Belum apa-apa Dwi dah tunjuk tanda-tanda menjauhkan diri. Ain pula tidak tahu menahu soal Dwi yang berantakan dengan perasaannya. Dan dia, dalam kesal dan marah yang berbaur perlukan tempat mengadu. Bergegas dia mencari musollah untuk bertemu Sang Kekasih bagi mengadu soal hati yang tak pernah berhenti bergolak.

Hakimi & Ainiyyah (on the phone..)

2011-12-29T06:43:00.000-08:00

"ASSALAMUALAIKUM Hakimi,"

"waalaikumusalam Ain, awak ada dekat mana tu?"

"saya dah balik apartment, awak? dekat hospital lagi?"

"yes, saya baru lepas jumpa patient. sekarang nak pergi beli makan sekejap,"

"oh..Saya ganggu awak ke?"

"eh of course not..awak sihat?"

"Alhamdulilah. ada lah batuk sikit sebab kat sini kan panas,"

"make sure you have a good rest, saya taknak awak jatuh sakit pulak,"

"okay, thanks Hakimi..Weekend ni awak datang sini ke?"

"yes InsyaAllah.Kenapa awak tanya? tak bagi saya datang lagi?"

"eh bukan lah..awak ni..tak, saya nak jumpa Dwi sekali kalau boleh,"

"you mean, you want me to bring Dwi along?"

"a'ah..itupun kalau Dwi nak and if awak pun okay lah..saya dah lama tak jumpa dia sejak.."

"okay. Kalau awak nak jumpa Dwi takkan saya nak kata tak boleh. i don't see the harm..,"

"thank you Hakimi! eh..er..thank you..nanti saya telefon awak balik k, saya nak mandi sekejap,"

"oh..okay..take care Ain,"

"okay, you too.."

"Em..Ain,"

"Ye?"

"Awak betul nak jumpa Dwi kan, bukan sebab awak tak selesa saya pergi sana sorang-sorang saya je?"

"Ya..betul..saya memang nak jumpa Dwi. Saya dah okay dah sekarang..Kita kan satu family. Madu ke tidak ke, saya taknak hubungan saya dengan Dwi renggang,"

"Dengan Dwi je? dengan saya kalau renggang tak apa?"

"Er...em...bu..bukan macam tu Hakimi..Saya..saya.."

"hehe..Relax. Saya gurau je Ain, don't worry saya tak paksa awak..just, do take care of yourself ya? InsyaAllah kita jumpa Sabtu ni?"

"ooo..haha..okay..Assalammualaikum Hakimi,"

"Waalaikumusalam Ainiyyah,"

Untuk pertama kalinya, jika tiada aral melintang, mereka bertiga akan menghabiskan waktu bersama hujung minngu akan datang. Doktor Hakimi Daniyal bersama dengan Dwi dan Ainiyyah. Keluarga yang baru terbina dan semakin menampakkan potensi untuk berkembang mekar. Benarkah? berpotensi? berkembang mekar? Cuma waktu yang akan melunaskan soalan. Kerana yang bakal terjadi menjadi rahsia Tuhan yang Agung.

2011-12-28T23:47:00.000-08:00

enchanting! i have always loved fairly lights so this is something. letak satu kat bilik style gak.
mister jumpy tapi nasib baik comel boy at the lost world section. mengamuk nih bila tau gambar kena amek. diva.
awww. sweet. far far away. if only you are a real living nation! memang i pindah sana. i love castles!
minah make up ni bila suruh amek gamba depan mock make up parlour nak je.
oh me. me me me. haha. suka nih sebab i look slim.hahah. masa ni tgh q for transformer 3d ride. AWESOME! enough said. nak lebih, pergi U.S with your family k! i felt for optimus and bumble bee during the ride. what can i say. best gila! bila dtg sini, i was a 17 year old again. serious. lari sana-sini mcm budak sekolah. bila lagi kan. Best.

a little more things from Singapore.

2011-12-28T23:36:00.000-08:00

that is 10 metre far. the reason i took this one is because i was doing nothing. haha. seriously, kat zoo ni macam pening sikit. not to be negative but my little brother was not feeling well. we all felt for him. we tried our best to endure. but it was not the best. takpa, ada hikmah dia.
the white tiger yang makan kepala orang tuh. seeing them upfront, they are huge. memang regal looking. white and massive. i only wish they would do a stunt and jump into the water or something instead of just being lazy there. is not that what we all wish for when visiting the zoo?
this is cool. i have a thing for this picture. sebab dia macam ala rustic camtu. see there my flats peep toeing? sebab i was on the land rover. tatau lah if it was a mock one or not, but when i saw i absent mindedly hopn on it and took pictures. kata dah pening, have to do something to ease it.
see? i told you. my dad and i je yang rajin click-click ni. kitorg ada habit lupa bawak camera pergi holiday so selalu pakai phone. hence, crappy pictures. but it is the effort that counts kan?

treetops trail! cool! we get to see animals at eye-level. well, not exactly sebab ade siamang tu pegi panjat tinggi gila so kena dongak ar nak tengok. the crocodiles below pun static je. cuba la sekali sekala buatstunt sikit. haha. sorry. i memang susah nak appreciate static animals ;p

something-something from Singapore.

2011-12-28T23:13:00.001-08:00

the tram ride inside the singapore zoo. my dad was pulling out all the tricks he had to ease loman who was quite in a bad mood. habis satu family affected. it was quite tiring that day.
the family having a rest after few hours at the universal studios. hehe. bukan nak kata, but this has been like the second or third time that we've captured photos like this. worn out faces after a whole day running around the park. because us family, we don't usualy take pictures of our every step. because in the family, only me and my dad whose prone to taking pictures! yang lain, camera shy (:
this is what we call the obligation picture. mesti buat family photo depan a huge landmark to just say "we've been here!".hehe. this photo was taken by me, hence me not in the picture. afterwords my bro took the picture with me and the family but malas nak upload. sama je. only with me. haha.
okayh. sorry. ni gegar tahap gaban. my dad took this. takpa yah akak tahu. susah kan nak amek pakai blackberry.kehkeh.anyways, yup that is the shrek castle and me and my sis kat situ. susah nak really take a good angled photo sebab ramai manusia lalu lalang tak reti langsung nak sympathise org nak amek gambar! kiasu. opps! haha.
that's the family chub loman in front of the globe. this was when we first got there. masa ni he was in abetter mood. dah boleh dah nak bergambar semua. in fact dia yang suruh i took the picture. die cakap "nak main kat situ" referring to the globe with water mist. keh. comel.

Lama tak jumpa.

2011-12-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

Bismillah.
i need a break from DWI kejap. giving time for ideas to come in. so lets talk about.... meeting old friends!

first of all, sorry lah. my post selalu takda gambar. ada banyak sebab, salah satunya i dont have the right equipments. and selalunya bila jumpa, lupa nak ambi gamba sebab sibuk tenung muka each other,makan,minum, dan cakap.

just now, went out with my old old old super old bestie (one of) with another old friend + cousin (yg sgt lama tak jumpa) and another friend yang selalu K.I.T tp x jumpa.

Tengok apa tau, tengok suatu malam kubur berasap. MENGARUT.fullstop.

after the movies, we went to kadir (my all time fav mamak) and minum kat situ. ish i know, tak manis perempuan keluar malam-malam minum kat mamak TETAPI insyaALLAH, semoga Allah sentiasa melindungi and take control then it is not a problem. Kayh? agree tak? (:

meeting old friends memang best, you get to hear what they're up to and see how they've change for the better since we left school and bawak diri ke campus masing-masing. Good times!

I was a bit sleepy but rasa mcam tanak balik tau. you're so comfortable, dengan orang-orang ni, kalau boleh nak borak je sampai tetido. but it was half past 12 and according to cinderella-time dah lebih sangat tuh. so, we cut the long story short and go back home.

InsyaALLAH, ada umur ada rezeki, jumpa lagi (: done!

Dwi & Hakimi

2011-12-28T11:09:00.000-08:00

"dah seminggu Ain kat Langkawi, Kimi taknak jumpa Ain ke?"
"Memang ada terlintas, tapi semalam Ain telefon i cakap dia sibuk sangat,"
"oh..kalau macam tu takpelah..Dwi taknak Kimi terlebih masa dengan Dwi pulak,"
"amboi..kalau terlebih sikit pun tak sudi ke?"
"eh bukan lah macam tu you ni. Ni soal dosa pahala tau.. tak boleh ambik ringan,"
"ye lah, abang gurau je..Serious nye Dwi ni,"
"boleh pulak Kimi nak gurau pasal benda ni..bahaya tau.."
"hehe..yes i know dear. lepas ni tak gurau dah pasal tu. Tapi betul, Ain yang call bagitahu i tak payah datang,"
"hmm..Kimi..actually Dwi rasa guilty sebab dengan Dwi 5 hari tapi dengan Ain dua hari je over the weekends,"
"i know, Kimi sendiri berat jugak mula-mula..tapi itu permintaan Ain. Berkeras dia mintak i setuju dengan cadangan dia..i did what was necessary untuk pujuk dia..tapi she said that's the best for now, sementara Ain duduk dekat Langkawi. Dwi sendiri dah dengar kan Ain cakap mcm mana? tak sampai hati nak tolak.."
"okay..i know..but still..Dwi taknak macam menganiaya Ain,"
"ish apa ni cakap macam tu..Takda sesiapa yang teraniaya Dwi, insyaAllah,"
"hmm..yelah..okay kalau both Kimi and Ain okay.."
"Lagi satu Dwi..come,listen to me. Ni abang nak ajar Dwi.. walaupun Dwi dan Ainiyyah rapat,sepupu, tapi dia tetap isteri abang tau.. seeloknya, untuk kebaikan for both you and Ain, Dwi lupakan soal Ain dan Kimi bila I am with you. okay my dear? boleh ingat pesan Kimi?"
"ooo..okay Kimi..Dwi mintak maaf..Dwi tak perasan tak i hve gone overboard with this..i'm just.."
"yes i know my dear, just let it go okay. Dwi dah solat tak ni? dari tadi bertelekung tapi tak solat-solat jugak Dwi ni,"
"oo.hehe..a'ah lupa pulak Dwi dah siap nak solat tadi,"
"boleh pulak lupa...kejap-kejap, I pegi ambik wudhu kita solat sekali,"

Dwi tersenyum melihat Hakimi bergegas ke toilet untuk berwudhu'.Dia menepuk dahi sendiri mengenangkan pesanan suaminya tadi.Dwi tersedar bahawa dia terlalu menjaga tepi kain Hakimi dan Ainiyyah. Diam-diam Dwi memasang hajat untuk tidak lagi sibuk bertanyakan soal rumah tangga Hakimi dan Ain. Biarlah dia sekadar berdoa dari jauh dan menyerahkan segala urusan pada yang Hak, ALLAH swt.

Hakimi & Ainiyyah

2011-12-28T10:51:00.000-08:00

"ni lah dia, rumah untuk Ain,"
"thank you Hakimi..sebenarnya awak tak perlu susah-susah..sebab saya pun tak lama dekat KL ni,"
"oh..ye..is that what you wanted to talk about?"
"a'ah tu la dia..awak tahukan, saya tgh amek Master..sekarang ada site project dekat Langkawi for two months,"
"saya tahu, mak lang..eh i mean, mak pun ada cakap.Dwi pun ada mention sebelum ni. Awak teruskanlah, saya tak halang. tapi biarlah saya tetap tanggung awak, dari segi keperluan. saya nak tunaikan tanggungjawab saya sebaik mungkin,"
"okay..thanks sebab awak okay dengan keputusan ni. by hook or by crook saya kena jugak habiskan master saya, Alhamdulillah awak faham. Pasal soal nafkah, saya terima seadanya ikut kemampuan awak,"
"okay..Alhamdulillah..looks like you are settled down? barang semua dah complete kan?"
"a'ah..Thanks again Hakimi,"
"Ain, no need to thank me further. Saya tak buat apa pun, mungkin ada yang terkurang. Dan soal tu.."
"takpa, Hakimi. I understand. we're both adults, kita boleh berterus terang kan? saya tahu, awak suami dan saya isteri. sebagai isteri, saya pun taknak berdosa kalau tak jalankan tanggungjawab saya. tapi kita sama-sama faham kan, keadaan diri dan perasaan masing-masing?"
"yes..we do, don't we? lagipun, tugas kita sebagai suami isteri lebih dari sekadar mempunyai zuriat saja.. banyak lagi tanggungjawab lain yang lebih besar.. itu yng saya cuba terangkan pada Dwi tapi.."
"tapi Dwi tak faham kan? itu lah... kalau lah Dwi faham, tak perlulah awak kahwin dengan saya dan tak perlu kita awkward macam ni,"
"tak baik awak cakap macam tu Ain. dah takdir. kita terima je lah. merungut pun buat tambah dosa je. Awak ikutlah rentak saya, okay Ain? saya tak bencikan awak, walaupun perkahwinan ini bukan keputusan saya. Dwi, awak sama-sama tanggungan saya. Banyak-banyak lah kita sekeluarga berdoa, supaya dipermudahkan semuanya..InsyaAllah,"

Ain mengangguk tanda setuju dengan bicara Hakimi. Bukan sekadar setuju, tapi dia benar-benar rasa seperti apa yang dibenaknya sudah pun diluah Hakimi. Ain lega, dia kini yakin dia tidak silap memilih. Hakimi dan Dwi memang telah tertulis sebagai sebahagian dari hidupnya. Tentang soal masa hadapan, dia tidak mahu terlalu memikirkannya. Biarlah dia terus mencuba untuk tenang menjalani takdir ALLAH SWT yang maha mengetahui lagi maha berkuasa.

Sesungguhnya aku hanya bergantung padaMU.

2011-12-24T08:12:00.000-08:00

Bismillah, i am posting from south of Malaysia. to be exact, in Plentong, Johor Bahru (ada jugak tempat nama Plentong?). Nama macam wush jauh di hujung dunia but it is actually right in the city centre.

Kami tidur di JB tapi insyaAllah, esok pagi-pagi betolak ke Singapore. Our first time in many years! tah apa la rupa kat sana kan. weird though. the excitement is really like if we were going to Australia. Serious tak tipu. But it's just..ceh..Singapore. Jiran seblah je pun. RELAX la an... But i just can't lie. I am excited.

Tapi, sebelum tu..hari ni berlaku sesuatu yang benar-benar menguji keimanan dan ketakwaan kepada Allah SWT. First time i experience this. Seeing my own brother disturbed by makhluk Allah SWT yang terlihat dek mata kasar (moga Allah SWT melindungi kami, AMIN..).

post ni bukan bermaksud untuk menakutkan diri sendiri atau sesiapa, cuma nak berkongsi cerita yang insyaAllah boleh dijadikan pengajaran oleh kamu semua. Bukan jugak niat aku nak ajar sesiapa, tapi sekadar berkongsi dan moga apa-apa teladan yang datang, itu semua berkat dari Allah SWT.

Sedih, terpaksa berdepan dengan adik yang sangat-sangat aku sayang dalam keadaan macam tu. sampai aku rasa macam dia bukan adik aku. tapi Subhanallah..Maha Suci Allah.. rasa macam marah meluap-luap pada yang 'mengganggu' pun ada.

Memang Allah je yang tahu apa aku rasa at that moment. rasa terkejut, lepas tu macam tak tahu 'eh betul ke ni?' tapi memang betul la. macam nak gugur jantung bila my brother say something which assure us, mmg ada makhluk Allah SWT yang cuba mengganggu.

me,my dad,my brother,my mom,and my two sisters cepat-cepat panjatkan doa padaNYA, mohon perlindungan, mohon my bro to be cured. Ya Allah..sedih..aku tak sanggup lagi nak tgk my little brother go through the same thing.

Moga Allah SWT mengampunkan dosaku dan keluarga atas keterlampauan kami yang mungkin terlepas pandang..AMIN..

to anyone who reads, mohon doa kamu semua for me and my family. especially my little brother...insyaAllah, doa kamu akan dibalas oleh yang Maha Agung, Rabb kita yang satu dan tiada sekutu bagiNYA, ALLAH SWT. amin..

Dwi, Hakimi & Ainiyyah.

2011-12-23T08:04:00.000-08:00

"ya Allah! terkejut aku.. Ain!"
"eh Dwi?? Ya Allah..aku pun terkejut jugak!"
"haha..apa la kita ni,,pagi-pagi lagi dah nak buat lawak,"
"Dwi..kenapa tak cakap kau nak sampai pagi ni? kalau tak dah lama aku.."
"Dwi?? ya Allah.. kenapa tak bagitahu Kimi Dwi nak balik pagi-pagi ni?"
"Dwi mintak maaf la Kimi..Dwi ingat Kimi dengan Ain ada dekat rumah baru. Dwi tak perasan yang...."
"eh, Dwi. apa kau mengarut ni..nikan rumah kau, aku yang menyibuk..sorry k Dwi. aku pun dah nak keluar dah ni, baru je letak barang dalam kereta tadi,"
"Kau nak pergi mana Ain?"
"Er, Kimi nak hantar aku pergi rumah baru Dwi,"
"oh..ala..takpe..duduk la sini dulu.petang sikit baru la pergi sana.Ain, kita breakfast sekali eh,"
"Aku okay je Dwi..em, boleh kan Hakimi? I nak breakfast dekat sini,"
"ah okay okay..of course..takpe Dwi masuk je dulu.Barang Dwi biar Kimi angkatkan,"
"thank you Kimi..eh lupa nak salam,"
"hehe..Dwi ni..tu lah abang ingat Dwi taknak salam dah,"
"dah..jom lah kita siap breakfast..Kimi dengan Ain nak makan apa?"
"aku nak English breakfast!"
"ish melampau la tuuuuu...kalau takat nasi lemak rendang ke, lontong ke, seblah tangan je aku masak.."
"cewah.......aku mintak yang simple pun dah kira bagi chance kat kau tau!"
"hehe..ye la.English breakfast eh..no prob..Kimi nak anything particular from Dwi's kitchen??"
"Anything from your kitchen will do my dear,"
"okay..hihi..pergi lah you all dua orang duduk depan tv ke, siram pokok ke, apa-apa je la, janji tak masuk kitchen Dwi,"
"eh aku nak jugak masuk! dah lama tak jadi sous chef ni!"
"Dwi bagi lagi Ain tolong..abang pun nak keluar kejap ni,beli paper,"
"ha ye la ye la....ok silakan sous chef Ain ke dapur..Kimi tolong belikan Dwi.."
"Metro? gosip apa pulak yang keluar ni Dwi?"
"hehe ada la!, careful bang!"
"will do.."
"Dwi, jom la. aku dah tak sabar nak kung fu dgn kau kat dapur tuh!"
"ha okay okay jom,"

bersahaja. sekali pandang,tak ubah seperti Dwi dan Ain yang dulu.tetap gila-gila dan mesra bila bertemu.Keakraban mereka tidak terkesan oleh status 'madu'.Baik Dwi mahupun Ain, masing-masing lebih selesa berteman seperti dulu dari saling menjauhi. Hakimi pula, 'What makes Dwi happy, makes me happy,' jadi penyejuk jiwanya yang bergolak. Egonya menafikan dia tergugat oleh keselambaan yang ditunjuk oleh kedua-dua isterinya. Namun itulah yang dia rasakan. Hakimi takut dia yang bakal jadi orang ketiga dalam keluarga ini. Segera dia beristighfar apabila bayangan-bayangan karut singgah di fikiran.'aku ni lelaki,i must be the pillar of strength for this family. yes, i must be that.InsyaAllah, kau lebih dari mampu Kimi!'

potong rambut la ni jugak!

2011-12-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

okay, i know this might have been around for quite awhile (aku je yang tatau!). but, it's worth mentioning! sebab it was awesome! haha, i had a good laugh with my siblings experiencing this virtual haircut. if you have not tried it, then you're missing something!

syok oh. you just seat, close your eyes and put on headphones (kalau boleh yang good quality ones, bukan yang satu kotak rm10 tuh). then you'll feel like you're in a barber shop. with two guys, one playing the guitar and another; cutting your hair!

here's the link:
http://youtu.be/pgeFdOayeaw

ask your mama, ayah, atok, nenek, pak ngah, mak ngah, apa la semua and see their reactions! tu yang lawak tuh! sapa yang takde reaction totally memang hati batu ;p

Dwi.

2011-12-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

tak tersangka perasaannya begini.Dwi ibarat termakan kata-kata sendiri.ya, dia cukup bahagia kerana akhirnya Kimi dan Ain sah disatukan.tetapi,ada satu perasan halus yang tajam menyelar bahagia itu.'aku cemburu ke?'.Dwi bingung dipermain perasaan sendiri. Dwi berkira-kira untuk menelefon Kimi. Perkiraannya menolak cadangan itu. tak manis kalau dia berhubung dengan Kimi, takut mengguris hati Ain. Dwi belum pasti jika Ain sudah mencintai Hakimi. Tapi Dwi yakin bahawa Ain telah menerima Hakimi dalam hidupnya dengan akad nikah yang berlansung siang tadi. 'aku perlu beri mereka masa..' kata akal Dwi. Kata hati pula, 'aku perlu beri masa untuk diri aku juga..'.Begitulah realiti, pahit dari yang dibayangkan. Dwi kini tahu, dia harus benar-benar mengukuh iman agar tidak tertampar dengan api cemburu. Dwi harus ingat niatnya yang lurus demi Allah. Alunan zikrullah dan selawat dimainkan di handphone. Telinganya disumbat dengan headphone dan dia tidur ditemani puji-pujian pada Allah SWT dan RasulNYA.

Ainiyyah.

2011-12-22T10:18:00.000-08:00

puas ainiyyah berpusing 360 darjah tapi mata masih lagi belum mengantuk. ikutkan hati, ain ingin menonton tv dan lupakan hakikat dia kini telah bergelar isteri. ada juga kata hati yang menyuruh dia menelefon Dwi.'nak call Dwi? tapi..nak cakap apa..'.Ain bingung. pertama kali dia harus berfikir sebelum ingin menelefon Dwi. Sebelum ini, terlalu banyak yang ingin diceritakan sampai Dwi dihubungi hampir setiap kali dia lapang.Ronta hatinya yang menggila pula menyuruh dia lari ke langkawi malam itu juga! 'ah gila! takkan lah aku nak belah macam tu aja..aku ni perempuan.isteri orang pulak tu,'.ain ingin menelefon ibunya, tapi niatnya terbantut mengenangkan nasihat orang tuanya itu; 'malam ni hang toksah lah duk gaduh nak telepon mak. tumpukan perhatian pada suami hang.ingat, suami mesti dihormati,disayangi.didik hati hang tu nak,'.Mak, kalau lah mak tahu yang Ain dan Hakimi tidur berasingan!Biarlah.Dia sendiri tidak mampu menipu diri. 'Minta maaf mak, i belum bersedia!'. serentak dia menangis. teresak-esak dalam pekat malam, sambil hati memohon perlindungan dari Rabb yang satu 'YA ALLAH, lindungi aku dari kesedihan,kemurungan yang melampau..amin'- Ainiyyah Ali

Hakimi (continue..)

2011-12-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

handphone di tangan di tunggang terbalikkan. hatinya kuat mendesak agar dia menelefon Dwi.'genap 24 jam aku tak bercakap dengan Dwi,'. 24 jam yang menyiksa, kata jiwa Hakimi. 'Ah, apa salahnya aku rindukan Dwi..dia isteri aku. Cinta pertama aku,". Tapi yang di bawah itu pun isteri juga, isteri yang sah. tidak ada bezanya dengan Dwi. Cuma hatinya tiada pada isteri baru, Ain. 'dia baik je dengan aku, takda pulak tarik-tarik muka,'. Hakimi terkenang gelagat Ain sejak selepas mereka dinikahkan.'kenapa la aku tak jatuh cinta senang-senang..boleh sayang dan rindu dua-dua sekali..Dwi..kalaulah Dwi tahu hati Kimi ni hanya ada untuk Dwi..'. yang ada untuk Ain hanyalah hormat dan simpati. yang pasti, untuk mencintai, Hakimi belum mampu. Gelisahnya bertambah apabila terbaca sebait ayat yang menuntut suami berpoligami agar adil dalam segala hal.Dia harus mencari ubat.lalu Hakimi menepis pautan syaitan yang mengikatnya pada kemalasan dan bangun ke toilet untuk berwuduk. sekalung doa dengan hati yang terhina dipanjat. 'Ya Allah,izinkan aku untuk bertemu denganMu malam ini dalam tahajudku..Amin,' - Hakimi Danial

Hakimi & Ainiyyah (continue..)

2011-12-22T09:47:00.000-08:00

"Hakimi, saya..ada nak bincang sikit dengan awak about something,"
"something? apa dia? cakaplah,"
"saya..nak tidur dekat guest room boleh tak,"
"oh..kenapa? bilik kat atas tu tak selesa ke? kipas dia tak jalan? kalau ye, saya pegi repair kejap,"
"eh, tak..bukan macam tu..saya rasa saya nak tidur kat bawah,"
"hmm..kenapa? awak ada sakit lutut ke? umur awak lebih kurang saya je kan? takkan dah sakit lutut kot??"
"Hakimi...awak jangan main-main boleh tak? saya serius ni,"
"ok lah..saya pun serius ni. terpulanglah pada awak, Ain. mana yang awak selesa. saya tak memaksa,okay.."
"okay..thank you so much, for understanding,"
"you're welcome..but if you need anything, awak boleh call saya kalau malas nak naik..saya dekat study room,"
"study room? awak tak tidur dekat bilik awak ke?"
"tak..lagipun,saya tak ngantuk lagi..maybe i want to do some reading,"
"oh..okay..then, saya masuk tidur dulu kalau awak okay,"
"yes of course..tidurlah.awak nampak letih jugak travel jauh-jauh tadi..selamat malam"
"selamat malam, Assalamualaikum,"
"wa'alaikumusalam.."

berbasa-basi. begitulah keselesaan Hakimi dan Ainiyyah setakat malam itu. Baik Hakimi atau Ainiyyah, kedua-duanya tidak mengharap atau mendesak apa-apa. Ainiyyah tetap bersantun menyusun kata kerana cinta atau tidak, suami tetap suami. Hakimi pula sehabis baik ingin Ain selesa dan terjaga kerana mahu atau tidak, isteri tetap isteri. namun, benak Hakimi dan Ain terpahat persoalan yang sama; bagaimana keadaan Dwi sekarang? Yang satu sedang rindu tapi disembunyikan. Yang satu lagi ingin tahu tapi dipendam. Harapan dan doa yang seiring dipanjat, 'semoga Allah merahmati keluarga yang baru terbentuk ini,Amin'.

Hakimi & Ainiyyah.

2011-12-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

"Come in..untuk malam ni je, Ain tidur sini. Esok pagi InsyaAllah, kita pindah rumah baru..about half an hour away,"
"oh..okay..emm,saya nak tumpang..er,saya nak..solat sekejap.."
"oh,okay. solatlah.."
"er,kiblatnya? awak boleh tunjukkan? saya dah lupa..lama tak datang sini,"
"oh,ya! emm, ke sana..awak nak solat kat atas? meh la saya tunjuk bilik,"
"eh takpa! em, takpa..saya naik sendiri..awak rehatlah dulu,"
"ah okay..apa-apa awak panggil je lah saya..saya kat bawah ni je,"
"ha..k..saya naik dulu,"

Matang dan berhemah,itu permulaan kehidupan Hakimi dan Ainiyyah. Masing-masing tahu akan soal hati yang tidak akan boleh dipaksa. Masing-masing juga sedar akan tanggungjawab yang terpikul atas nama suami dan isteri.Biarlah berbudi cara walau tak ada cinta. Kerana baik Hakimi atau Ainiyyah, masing-masing tahu alasan mengapa mereka saling menikahi. Takdir Allah yang mendatang haruslah disambut penuh sopan dan santun. Mana mungkin Sang Pencipta memberi sesuatu kecuali demi kebaikan?

Dwi & Amanina (continue..)

2011-12-22T07:25:00.000-08:00

"Dwi? Kau dengar tak apa aku cakap ni?"
"ha? kau cakap apa tadi? sorry sorry, aku tak dengar,"
"kau berangan apa Dwi? aku tanya Kimi tak call ke?"
"oh..tak.aku yang cakap tak payah call,"
"la..kenapa? takkan kau taknak ambik tahu langsung pasal hari nikah dia dengan ain?"
"bukan taknak ambik tahu..tapi biarla..hari ni hari Kimi dengan Ain,"
"tapi kau sepupu Ain..takkan kau tak boleh nak sibuk sikit pun?"
"Na, sepupu ke bukan ke..aku tetap madu dia.Kami dah berkongsi suami, so aku kena lah respect space masing-masing starting from today,"
"Sukahati kau lah Dwi..aku cakap nanti kau balas balik. sampai bila pun lah tak habis, so better kita siap pergi makan,"
"haha,okay. tunggu kejap,aku tak solat lagi!"
"ish kau ni kan..umur dah banyak tapi perangai..."
"eleh! kau tu mak nenek bebel 24 jam!"

'Dwi..Dwi..kau memang tabah ke, buat-buat tabah??' terpacul persoalan itu dari benak Amanina. Dia dan Dwi tidaklah terlalu lama saling mengenali. tetapi Dwi jenis yang tidak tahu erti bermuka-muka.setelah 4 tahun bersahabat, rentak Dwi mula dikenali Amanina. seorang yang tak mudah berbicara, tapi jika sudah lama berkenalan, sifat penyayang Dwi terserlah. Dwi juga perahsia, tapi jujur. tidak reti menipu! jadi, masakan Dwi berlakon bahagia di depannya sekarang? masih adakah wanita yang mampu bahagia dimadukan? atau memang Dwi insan terpilih yang ikhlas demi cinta pada suami? atau..Dwi kini sudah berubah..'Ah..asal kau bahagia Dwi!'- Nurul Amanina

it is still there,after so many posts.

2011-12-22T07:19:00.000-08:00

rasa malu yang menebal itu masih ada dan terus melekap dengan teguhnya. i just can't bear with someone telling me he/she reads my blog! haha. i know blogs are supposed to be read by others. but i have been blogging for many years (ceh mcm dah lama sgt!) acknowledging the fact that i dont have readers! kahkah ;p bukan merendah diri tak tentu pasal, but that was the fact!

so when a friend (@myralisa) recently tweeted and tegur about this DWI novel, warghhhhhh alangkah malunya hati ini. haha.

but anyways, i'll continue because ideas are coming and they don't come often. hopefully what i write will eventually gives out something good for anyone who reads in any ways, big or small. InsyaAllah!

Dwi & Hakimi (continue..)

2011-12-20T02:01:00.000-08:00

"Alhamdulillah..Ya Allah..Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin..Amin ya Allah.."
"Dwi? kenapa ni?"
"Kimi..abang..Ainiyyah..dia terima lamaran Dwi untuk abang!"

Hiba.Kelam dan lesu rasa hati Hakimi.Aneh dengan perasaannya sendiri, sebagai lelaki, hatinya langsung tidak tercuit untuk bergembira dengan berita yang dibawa Dwi. Hati seorang suami mula terdetik, apakah Dwi sungguh menyintai nya sehingga sanggup berkorban perasaan..atau adakah dia sebenarnya sangat jauh dari hati Dwi sehingga Dwi tidak terusik jika dia beristeri lagi.

"Dwi, what is it actually? kenapa Dwi pretend to be happy ni? Kimi taknak Dwi seksa diri sendiri!"
"Kimi..Kimi cakap apa ni..i'm not pretending..Dwi bahagia sebab tak lama lagi, Kimi akan benar-benar bahagia dengan.."
"my true happiness is with you, Dwi! how many times do i have to tell you, do not hurt yourself anymore! tak cukup lagi ke Kimi sakitkan Dwi sebelum ni?! Dwi nak Kimi jadi diri Kimi yang sebelum ni ke?!"
"jangan lah jerit Kimi..I want you to understand me as well..Seorang isteri yang tidak mampu menjalankan tugas sebagai isteri dengan sempurna, memang selayaknya jika si suami nak berkahwin lagi..kalau bukan sekarang, mungkin sepuluh tahun lagi Kimi sendiri yang nak beristeri..and you will find someone i don't know, someone i don't care about dan akhirnya, pada masa tu lah Dwi akan betul-betul terluka..tapi kalau Ain lah menjadi sebahagian dari hidup Kimi, Dwi pun bahagia..sebab dua-dua Dwi sayang..Kimi husband Dwi dan Ain sepupu Dwi, adik Dwi dunia akhirat.."

Jatuh lagi. Kimi terperosok dilempar angin kata-kata Dwi yang meruntun hatinya.Kimi dan Dwi tidak akan berakhir selamanya, InsyaAllah. Dwi yang benar-benar terluka mungkin akan menjadi realiti jika penyatuan dengan Ainiyyah tidak dia relakan. Aku lelaki, aku pelindung Dwi, akan aku lindungi dia dari sakit dan pedih. Cukuplah sekali aku terpesong dari amanahNYA. 'Allah, beri hambaMu ini kekuatan dari sisiMu, untuk adil, untuk melindungi, untuk tidak melukai Dwi. dan bukakan pintu hatiku, untuk menunaikan tanggungjawab ku pada Ainiyyah, wanita pilihanMu untukku, melalui Dwi.' - Hakimi Daniyal.

Hakimi.

2011-12-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

"Dwi..Dwi..Dwi.."
"what's with you Mi? Baru 3-4 hari buah hati balik kampung dah kurus kendikiang tak cukup makan ke?"
"riz..Kau belum berbini lagi..sakit rindu dia, unbearable man..unbearable.."
"kau dengan Dwi dekat 3 Tahun kahwin pun, still on honeymoon lagi ke?"
"eh mestilah..InsyaAllah sampai ke mati aku tetap sayang dia macam the first time aku jumpa dia..even more, i hope,"
"haha..kau ni Mi, saja bagi panas darah aku je,"
"tu la..Kau bila lagi Riz? umur just nice, rupa Alhamdulillah boleh lah cari makan, career-wise memang kiriteria menantu pilihan lah..Doktor muda, takkan tak ada yang sangkut?"
"yang sangkut Mi, memang ada..tapi banyak hal la pulak..dengan social-life entah ke mana tunggang terbalik, nak cari bertudung? semua dah not available! kalau ada pun, macam dah serik dengan lelaki..Allah..payah lah soal jodoh ni.."
"haha..Solat kau Riz, that's the key..Doa lah selalu..Mintak pada Allah dengan seikhlas hati kau, yang baik yang solehah..InsyaAllah riz.."
"thanks Mi! kau tolong lah mintak Dwi cari-carikan calon aku..Kot dia ada kawan ke, sepupu ke yang single lagi..boleh kenalkan dengan aku,"

Sepupu. 'Memang ada Riz, tapi Dwi pilih untuk aku!' bentak Hakimi pada jiwa sendiri. Tersentak jiwa Hakimi mendengar. Pelik lagi menghairankan. Kalau dulu apabila Dwi sebut sepupu, terbayang keriangan di muka Dwi. Rapat sunggu Dwi dengan Ain. Sekarang, apabila Dwi bangkitkan soal sepupunya, Ainiyyah, hati Hakimi bagai terbeban. Bayangan harapan Dwi yang menggunung untuk dia bersatu dengan Ain membuat Hakimi lemah, selemah-lemahnya. Lemah untuk melawan menentang harapan Dwi. Dwi, belahan hatinya kini, pernah dia lukakan dahulu. Untuk Hakimi, sekali sudah terlalu pedih untuk Dwi. Entah dari mana dia mungkin mengutip kekuatan untuk berdepan dengan Dwi dan cerita Ainiyyahnya.

Ainiyyah.

2011-12-19T14:07:00.000-08:00

"Yes prof..i've been doing quite a progress here..if you don't believe me, you better come quick, hehe"
"ain..ain..kamu suka nak ugut-ugut saya ya? well, i believe you, i believe you.. kamukan favourite student saya, penuntut master termuda di institusi kita, malah yang terbaik pulak tu, of course i believe you,"
"ish prof..i'm not that good..Alhamdulillah dengan apa yang ada..saya cuma nak buktikan, umur kurang bukan bererti kewibawaan pun kurang,"
"Alhamdulillah, i think you have well proven the fact..jangan take for granted kepercayaan saya sudah,"
"InsyaAllah tak prof. i'll be your wing-man. i mean, wing-woman. saya kan anak prof k, mesti la nak jaga reputasi supervisor saya!"
"wah, bukan main semangat lagi. you better show the institute your enthusiasm young lady. dalam usia semuda awak, with that much innovation in your designs, insyaAllah, bukaklah firm kat mana pun, beratur client yang inginkan khidmat awak sebagai arkitek tetap,"
"amin..itulah harapan saya prof..thanks to you..betuahlah saya terpilih jadi anak didik prof k.."
"amboih..dah mula dah dia nak bodek orang tua ni..dah lah tu ain..lepas dah capai harapan awak yang satu tu, jangan lupa harapan yang lain pulak.."
"harapan lain? as far as i know, that is my only dream prof,"
"bukaklah pintu hati untuk teman sehidup semati. anak saya sebaya awak dah ada anak sorang dah pun. bila pulak saya nak tengok student saya naik pelamin? ingat ain, karier ini cuma jambatan ke akhirat sana.. berkeluarga pun tuntutan bagi yang mampu,"

mujurlah prof k sudah dikenalnya bertahun-tahun. malah Ainiyyah senang apabila dianggap seperti anak. kalau orang lain yang menimbulkan soal itu, sudah tentu belang Ainiyyah akan kelihatan. bertudung litup dan bergelar wanita bukan bererti aku lemah! itu prinsip Ainiyyah. Gadis muda ini terpempan apabila ditimbulkan soal berkahwin. terutamanya setelah Dwi meluahkan hasratnya tempoh hari. Memang Ainiyyah berhati keras, tapi Dwi kakak sepupu yang disayanginya. Ainiyyah tak jemu-jemu beristikharah. Sesungguhnya Allah SWT sahaja yang menjadi pergantungan gadis ini. apa pun gerak hatinya kelak, dia redha..InsyaAllah.

Dwi.

2011-12-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

-Assalammualaikum, Kimi.. Dwi baru lepas solat..lepas mak lang bangun nanti, Dwi bertolak balik KL..-

"Dwi? dah siap?"
"dah mak lang..Dwi bertolak sekarang na.."
"ya lah nak..elok-elok ya..mak lang dah bungkuihkan bekal bawak balik..ada karipap yang hang dengan Kimi suka tu.."
"terima kasih Mak lang..Ain tidur lagi mak lang?"
"yalah..hang tau ja la adik hang tuh..tapi dia tau kan hang nak balik pagi ni?"
"tau..Dwi habaq dah kat dia..semalam Ain tak jumpa langsung dengan Dwi..tapi Dwi faham..Ain perlukan masa.."
"yalah..Mak lang tau hampa dua orang dah besaq..dah tua-tua dah pun..insyaAllah, bila sampai masa dia, Ain mesti habaq kat Dwi pasai jawapan dia..Dwi jangan risau na.."
"ya mak lang..insyaAllah..Dwi balik dulu mak lang, Assalammualaikum,"

- waalaikummusalam, Dwi..ok dear..please be careful..I just got out from the OT.. Alhamdulillah semuanya ok..i'll be at home when u come back, InsyaAllah. love, Hakimi.-

Dwi & Ainiyyah (continue..)

2011-12-19T13:24:00.000-08:00

"ya Allah Dwi! kau cakap apa ni?! kau dah gila ke??"
"Ain..tak. aku tak gila. Alhamdulillah, aku still waras. aku cuma nak kau faham yang.."
"yang apa Dwi? kau sedar tak apa yang kau cakap ni?"
"yes Ain..aku tahu..permintaan aku besar. terlalu besar mungkin. tapi siapa lagi yang aku percaya selain engkau Ain?"
"Dwi..ni bukan pasal percaya ke tak. ni pasal hidup aku, hidup kau dengan hakimi! Kau sendiri pernah cakap dengan aku yang kau takkan sanggup bermadu Dwi,"
"itu dulu Ain..masa kita budak-budak..apa la yang aku tau..Takdir Allah, apa pun boleh jadi Ain.."
"jangan salahkan takdir Dwi, kau ada pilihan! kau sendiri cakap Hakimi tak memaksa kan??"
"Ain, sebab aku tak salahkan takdir lah aku berani mintak kau jadi isteri abang hakimi.."
"apa kau cakap ni Dwi? takkan lah aku sampai hati nak jadi orang ketiga dalam hidup korang suami isteri!"
"ain..ni bukan pasal orang ketiga. aku betul-betul jujur nak melamar kau untuk abang hakimi. dan walaupun dia tak memaksa, dia jugak tak menolak Ain.."
"Dwi, kenapa kau buat macam kat aku? Aku tak kan kahwin dengan suami kau..aku tak mungkin mampu untuk cintakan dia Dwi..tak boleh Dwi, aku tak boleh,"
"ain..Tolong aku,ain..aku perlukan kau..aku ni tak sempurna Ain,aku isteri yang tak mampu tunaikan tanggungjawab aku..aku berpenyakit Ain..Aku perlukan kau..kau yang terbaik untuk Hakimi..dia lelaki yang baik, dan kau wanita yang terbaik untuk dia Ain..tolong ain, bantu aku..aku tahu dari dulu aku susahkan kau, menumpang kebahagiaan kau.."
"Dwi, jangan. Jangan cakap kau menumpang Dwi. Kau tau aku memang sayang kau lebih dari sekadar sepupu. Kita tak ada beza mcm adik beradik lain Dwi,jangan sekali kau ulang menumpang tu Dwi,"
"Ain..tolong..tolong aku..cuba lah untuk kenal siapa Hakimi..Cubalah terima dia Ain..aku merayu, terima dia dalam hidup kau.."
"Dwi..kenapa Dwi..kenapa macam ni jadinya? mana pergi Dwi yang dulu? yang tak mengaku kalah? yang tahu apa dia nak??"
"Ain..i'm not losing any battle..nor am i winning any..because the fact is hidup ini bukan pertandingan..tapi perjalanan yang mesti dilalui..Allah susun jalan kita macam ni Ain..Aku terima kerana ini ikhtiar seterusnya dari DIA..Terima Hakimi dalam hidup kau Ain, please.."

detak jantung Ainiyyah kuat meghempas dadanya.Dwi, sepupu yang dianggap lebih dari saudara kandung kini merayu agar dia menerima Hakimi, suami Dwi sendiri. Hatinya terhiris saat mendengar sakit yang ditanggung Dwi. Namun, naluri wanitanya juga remuk saat Dwi menyatakan hasrat untuk menjadikan dia isteri kedua. Hati keras Ain bagai terlentur bila mengenang nasib Dwi. Ain sendiri belum mempunyai insan pilihan. Namun, dia juga keliru apa dia tak punya pilihan selain Hakimi? "Aku perlu waktu ya Allah..beri aku kesempatan untuk kembali padaMu..moga Dwi tenang, moga aku juga tenang ya Allah..". Doa Ainiyyah agar keputusannya tepat di sisi Allah swt.

Dwi & Mak Lang (continue..again)

2011-12-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

"Astaghfirullah..Subhanallah..Dwi sayang, maafkan mak lang tak pernah tau hal hang sakit..anak oi, mak lang ni sayang kat hang mcm mana mak lang sayang pada Ain.. Sejak hang kecik sampai la ni, Mak lang selalu doakan hang bahagia dunia akhirat..la ni, hang dah kata lagu ni, mak lang hanya mampu berdoa ja Dwi..Maafkan mak lang Dwi, Mak lang tak tahu sampai lagu ni jadinya hang dengan Hakimi..."
"mak lang...takpa mak lang..Dwi terima semua dengan sepenuh hati Dwi..Dwi bersyukur sebab Allah bagi Dwi mak lang dan Ain dalam hidup Dwi..maafkan Dwi mak lang kalau Dwi hancurkan hati mak lang dengan permintaan Dwi ni,"
"Seikhlas hati mak lang, mak lang redha kalau Ain lah yang hang pilih untuk Hakimi. tapi, jodoh itu di tangan Allah SWT nak..kalau dah memang jodoh Ain dengan Hakimi, siapa lah mak lang nak menolak..apa pun.. hang perlu tanya pada Ain ya nak ya.."
"Mak lang..doakan hati Ain lembut untuk terima abang hakimi dalam hidup dia ya mak lang..Doa mak lang sebagai ibu lah yang Dwi minta mak lang..maafkan Dwi terpaksa meminta-minta..tapi Dwi yakin, Ainiyyah lah yang selayaknya menjadi isteri abang Hakimi..Dwi yakin, kalau Ain sudi jadi sebahagian dari hidup abang Hakimi, Dwi mampu ikhlas untuk tengok diorang bahagia..sebab Dwi sayangkan Ainiyyah mak lang,"
"ALLAHUAKBAR Dwi...Dwi..nak.. sabarlah nak..Mak lang tau takdak isteri yang mahu berkongsi kasih..tapi ini takdir hidup hang Dwi..Hang mesti bagi betui2 ikhlas na..Mak lang sentiasa ada untuk hang dengan Ain..InsyaAllah, mak lang kirimkan Doa yang tak seberapa ni untuk kebahagiaan hampa semua..Untuk Kimi juga ya nak ya..dah nak ya..jangan dok menangis lagu tu aihh..hancur hati mak lang ni nak..."

Pekat malam yang ditunggu akhirnya tiba.Dwi menapak berteleku di atas sejadah.meghadap Allah tuhan Maha Agung yang CintaNYA Maha Sempurna.tangan ditadah,kepala tertunduk dalam malunya seorang hamba kepada tuhan yang tak putus-putus melimpahkan kurnia.dalam senyap,sunyi ditemani alam, Dwi menitip kata buat Sang Pencipta.'ya Allah, sungguh hebat Kasih sayang MU.HambaMU ini yang terlalu memerlukan telah kau kurniakan dengan keredhaan Mak Lang..Alhamdulillah..Ya Allah, temani daku dalam langkah ini ya Allah, hapuskan air mata ini andai ia tiada nilai bagiMU.Berkatilah turutan perbuatan ku, Dengan seizin dariMU ya Rabb, moga hambaMU Ainiyyah terbuka hatinya untuk suamiku..Amin'

Dwi & Mak Lang (continue..)

2011-12-19T10:43:00.000-08:00

"wah, tu dia sakan laki dia duk telepon!"
"eh mak lang, hehe. sorry Dwi tak perasan Mak lang masuk tadi.."
"eh takda nak sorry aihh..Mak lang yang duk gatai dengaq..macam mana Kimi? sihat hang takda?"
"Alhamdulillah..Dia ok ja mak lang..saja ja call tanya Dwi makan ke tak..Abang Kimi kirim salam dekat mak lang.."
"Waalaikummusalam..baguih la..suka mak lang tengok hampa dua lagu ni..jauh pun takpa..saling percaya,"
"insyaAllah mak lang..eh, Mak lang dah kemas dapur ka? Dwi baru nak pi tengok tadi,"
"tak sepah apa pun aih..biar la..ni, mak lang nak tanya kot Dwi dah sedia nak cerita..Mintak maaf la Dwi kalau mak lang dok kalut..tapi Dwi ni macam anak mak lang sendiri, kalau ada hal penting mak lang gelisah nak tunggu.."
"ish takda apa la mak lang.. kalau mak lang pun dah sedia, Alhamdulillah lagi Dwi suka,"
"cerita la nak oi..Mak lang risau kot Dwi ada masalah..Mak lang ni dah tua, tak mampu nak tolong apa pun sangat..tapi InsyaaAllah, sedaya mampu tu mak lang tolong lah.."
"Mak lang, betul la mama kata, kadang2 mak lang lebih faham Dwi dari mama..Sebab mama kata Dwi ikut perangai Mak lang. Tak boleh dijangka mcm time bomb,"
"ada ka time-bomb! eihhh..mak lang ni ada sapa ja melainkan ain,dwi dengan mama dwi.. nak paham sapa lagi kalau tak hampa semua.. Dwi la terutamanya,"
"Mak lang, sebenarnya betul la apa yang mak lang kata tadi.."
"yang mak lang kata? yang mana Dwi oi.."
"yang pasal Dwi nak minta tolong dari Mak lang.."
"ya ka Dwi? habaq la.. toksah duk selindung lagi..Ni kan mak lang, terus terang aja la Dwi.."

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani, bait kata-kata Dwi disusun sepatah-sepatah.Harapan Dwi agar Allah yang Maha Besar melenturkan jiwa keibuan Mak langnya itu.Dwi terus memohon agar pertuturannya lancar dan hajat yang tersemat teguh dapat disampaikan dengan semurni mungkin.mampu atau tidak mak lang menerima hajat dwi yang ingin menyatukan Hakimi dengan Ainiyyah? 'Moga hati mak lang lembut dan memahami ya Allah, restu ibu Ainiyyah ku perlukan demi membutuhkan kerelaan anaknya..'tutur hati Dwi tidak henti-henti.

Dwi & Mak Lang

2011-12-19T10:23:00.000-08:00

"Dwi...SubhanAllah...rindunya mak lang dengan dwi!"
"Dwi pun mak lang..dwi ingat mak lang takda kat rumah..selalukan pergi jogging?"
"hari ni mana boleh..kan Dwi nak mai..mak lang masak macam-macam! eh, Kimi mana??"
"Abang Hakimi tak datang Mak lang.. Dwi je..Tadi masa drive dengan Amanina,kawan Dwi.Masa kat Kuala Kedah tadi kitorang separate,"
"la awat jadi lagu tu? hampa gaduh ka??"
"eh tak lah mak lang..Kampung Amanina kan kat situ..Dia balik la kampung dia dulu, lusa dia datang sini.."
"oooh..ya lah..mak lang lupa! dah tua-tua ni lupa ja! eh ni, pasai pa Kimi tak ikut sekali?"
"Abang Kimi on-call mak lang..Macam biasa..Dwi pun ingat nak duduk sini lama sikit..boleh dak?"
"eh pasai pa tak boleh! kalau Kimi dah bagi green light, mak lang lagi lah! meriah lah ada hang, ada Ain,"
"Ye je mak lang ni..Alhamdulillah kalau mak lang tak kisah Dwi duk sini..Buat semak je kan Dwi ni!"
"eih apa ni kata lagu tu! duk bising-bising ni baru tak sat mama hang telepon mak lang.."
"oooh..mama habaq apa-apa tak?"
"takda apa pun..Dia dok tanya hang dah sampai ka belum..biasa lah mama hang..dok risau pasai hang..Mak lang habaq la hang kat sini selamat punyaaa..."
"hehe..mak lang ni segan pulak dwi.. Ain mana Mak lang? tak sampai lagi?"
"dak lagi..agaknya dia bertolak lewat sikit dari Dwi..tadi dia telepon pun habaq kata jalan jam teruk.."
"laa..Kesian Ain..memang jam pun mak lang..la ni kan cuti..dua hari ja pun tapi ramai orang nak balik kampung,"
"lagu tu ka? ya la..sementara orang tua duk ada balik lah selalu.."
"eh mak lang ni nak buat sedih pulak..kan Dwi dah sampai ni. ain pun sat gi sampai la tu.."
"ish hang ni, mana ada mak lang sedih..mak lang hang ni happy the lucky all the time,"
"eceh, happy go lucky le mak lang!"
"ha ya la. apa menatang hang sebut tu, tu la mak lang..ha dah. buat pa la kita dok berdiri tengah panas ni, meh masuk. Dwi mandi, solat, pastu kita makan.. boleh skali duk bincang hal penting Dwi habaq kat mak lang tu,"
"ye mak lang.. Dwi masuk dulu.."

Dwi & Hakimi

2011-12-19T09:42:00.000-08:00

"Dwi..kenapa Dwi macam ni.."
"macam ni? macam mana Kimi?"
"macam ni la.. macam.. tak nak fikir perasaan sendiri..why do you like to please others sangat?"
"who says i am pleasing anyone? i am just doing what i believe is right.. even if Dwi nak please orang pun, it's you.. tu tak salahkan?"
"Dwi..kahwin..bukan benda main-main tau..you know that kan?"
"Yes Kimi..of course Dwi tahu..Dwi bukan budak-budak.."
"then why? why do you easily came up with this decision??"
"easily? no, not easily Hakimi..I dah ikhtiar dan this is the answer..Dwi rela Kimi berkahwin dengan Ainiyyah.."
"then, how about me? my feelings? ada Dwi tanya wether i want this or not?"
"that is why i am asking you now..Dwi tanya sincerely, Kimi nak zuriat sendiri kan?"
"zuriat tu ketentuan Allah SWT Dwi..kalau DIA nak bagi, bila-bila pun boleh.."
"tapi Kimi dengar kan, Dr.Iman cakap apa pasal Dwi? I can't conceive Kimi.. Tak mungkin..IVF pun does not work.."
"sabar Dwi..kita boleh ikhtiar..jangan kata tak mungkin..Kita siApa nak pastikan ketentuan Allah? yang Dwi nak rush sangat kenapa?"
"Kimi.. you are a doctor yourself..you know and understand my condition perfectly. Medically, we have tried everything we can think of kan?"
"Yes, tapi.."
"Kimi, Dwi tanya sincerely and i want you to answer honestly..Kimi nak zuriat sendiri kan?"
"..........Dwi.."
"Please jawab..I nak tahu dari Kimi sendiri.."
"...yes..i do..tapi tak lah sampai nak lukakan hati Dwi..Apa pun Dwi isteri Kimi..Amanah yang dah ada depan mata..Zuriat tu belum pasti.."
"no need to worry about me..insyaAllah, Dwi kuat..Dwi kuat untuk Kimi,"
"Dwi..i don't need you to sacrfice for me..let me take care of you..take care of us..biarlah..tak ada rezeki untuk kita ada anak sendiri..kita ambil anak angkat..I'm okay with that.."
"you have done enough for me Kimi..sekarang is my turn..Dwi nak bahagiakan Kimi, Dwi nak tunaikan permintaan arwah Mummy, and most importantly, impian Kimi.."
"Dwi..yang dah pergi tetap pergi..Walaupun arwah Mummy pesan macam tu dalam wasiat arwah..kita tak perlu tunaikan kalau ada yang akan terluka..Especially kalau orang tu is you, Dwi..Kimi tak sanggup.."
"Kimi..Wasiat Mummy yang inginkan cucu dari zuriat lelakinya tak bercanggah dengan hukum..Tanggungjawab kita untuk tunaikan, Kimi..Dwi ikhlas..Dah takdir Allah Dwi tak mampu ada anak sendiri..jadi Dwi relakan Kimi berkahwin lagi untuk tujuan ni.."
"Dwi... Kimi sayang Dwi. I am no lesser sincere than you are dear.. Tapi Kimi betul-betul tak sanggup nak duakan Dwi.."
"Tak.. Kimi bukan duakan Dwi. Kimi cuma jadi seorang anak dan suami yang responsible.. Dwi yakin kalau niat kita luruskan untukNya, segalanya akan terjamin.. ALLAH kan ada Kimi.."

Hakimi yang petah jatuh kelu dengan bicara Dwi. Hatinya meruntun sedih tidak mahu hati isterinya terluka. Namun, keyakinan dan keikhlasan dalam tutur kata Dwi, juga harapan yang terpampang pada anak mata wanita itu melemahkan Hakimi. Hakimi lembut hati menerima wasiat arwah ibunya sementelah melihat dengan mata kepalanya akan kesungguhan amanah Allah untuknya,Dwi, yang sedia berkorban..Sedih dipendam dengan azam "ya Allah, beri aku kekuatan untuk tidak melukai mana-mana hati..terutamanya dia..amanahMu untukku.Amin.."

Dwi & Ainiyyah

2011-12-19T09:21:00.000-08:00

"ASSALAMUALAIKUM, dwi!"
"waalaikummusalam! Ain kau kat buat apa tu??"
"aku..tengah..siap nak pergi kelas la ni! aku kan student lagi..hehe"
"ye lah student..padahal dah master! Tah pape je kau niii.."
"eleh master pun, studenT jugak kan! tak macam kau, dah tuaaaa.."
"woi sukahati je! eh bila kau nak balik cuti, takkan student master tak dapat rehat??"
"kau ni bila call je, tanya cuti! ingat aku kat Universiti pak lang kau ke?"
"oh bukan eh? hehe.. cepat lah! aku tanya seriously ni.."
"untung la kau, sebab lusa aku cuti..eh bukan cuti la, still in study..tapi aku dapat site dekat Langkawi..So for two months I will be back home! lega..."
"ye ke?? Alhamdulillah! ya Allah, happynya aku! Bila kau start pergi site??"
"Lusa aku balik, supposely by next monday tempoh dua bulan aku mula..tapi Supervisor aku datang lewat seminggu..so boleh lah aku relax dulu.."
"oo..Okay! so kira on la aku nak jumpa kau weekend ni??"
"ha insyaAllah lah..Memang boleh sangat! lamanya aku tak jumpa kau Dwi!"
"tahu pun.. okay lah, aku nak call Mak Lang bagitahu weekend ni aku nak datang..Ada benda penting aku nak beritahu kau Ain,"
"ha apa? Cakap je lah sekarang pun.. macam tak biasa kau ni,"
"ala.. tak boleh lah. Kau sabar la jap. dah tua-tua pun perangai macam 16 tahun!"
"eh aku kan forever 16..hehe..eh ok lah! aku pun have to go..Kalau tak mahunya Prof. K tu mengamuk.."
"ala kalau dia mengamuk, kau karate je la..macam tak biasa!"
"kepala kau nak karate! dah la dia tu sebaya atok kita..tak sampai hati!"
"haha..eh ok lah! dah berapa kali aku tak jadi letak.kau punya pasal!"
"aku pulak. kau yang non-stop bising tadi.. okay, bye Dwi!"
"bye.."

Ya Allah, segala puji bagiMu atas kemudahan yang kau bentangkan ini..Semoga tadbirku seiring dengan takdirMu ya Allah..Amin.

Dwi & Amanina

2011-12-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

"kau nak? share husband dengan sepupu kau sendiri?"
"lebih baik dia. at least aku kenal dia, aku ikhlas ambil berat pasal dia.."
"but..what if kalau lepas dia kahwin dengan husband kau, dia berubah? lagi teruk kan? lagi kau sakit,"
"doakan yang baik..insyaAllah..aku rasa kalau niat aku betul Allah mesti tolong permudahkan.."
"memang lah..tapi sebagai hamba Allah juga kau kena bersiap sedia hadapi semua kemungkinan..termasuk kemungkinan yang kau tak suka.."
"insyaAllah aku dah ready.."
"ish.. susah betul lah cakap dengan kau ni! kau faham tak, terlalu banyak risiko?"
"kau nak marah aku pula kenapa??"
"haih..bukan marah..tapi..kau nampak tak, ini soal perhubungan keluarga besar kau. kalau keadaan tak menjadi, hubungan antara family kau, adik-beradik mak kau mungkin akan terkena tempias jugak.."
"you mean, mak aku dengan mak lang aku akan bermusuh kalau aku dengan Ainniyah tak sehaluan?"
"that and also kalau husband kau tak adil.."
"Na.. kalau aku nak fikir satu-satu pasal semua tu, masalah tak selesai.. kalau aku nak sibuk sangka buruk,sampai bila.. Dia nak zuriat sendiri..aku pun nak apa yang dia nak..dia suami aku Na.."
"kita bukan nak sangka buruk, tapi berhati-hati..kau jangan terburu-buru..mintalah petunjuk dari DIA.."
"Na.. insyaAllah, atas izin DIA lah aku buat decision ni..aku dah nekad..besok, kau teman aku pergi Kedah..jumpa Mak Lang aku dengan Ain.. okay?"
"kau betul ni?.. Hakimi dah tahu?"
"Dah..dia sendiri yang suggest aku ajak kau sekali.. kalau boleh dia yang nak teman, tapi takkan lah kan..so, will you?"
"okay..semoga Allah melindungi kau dan keluarga kau sentiasa Dwi..Aku ikut ni pun sebab kau yang cakap kau dah yakin.."
"Okay Na! Semoga Allah makbulkan doa aku, doa kita semua.."

Ustaz Don.

2011-12-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

Assalammualaikum. first of all, terasa malu and sedikit janggal to write about someone who fights in Allah's path. because before this, i only post up admiration towards actors,singers,entertainers etc. malu sebab takut tersalah sebut. takut niat tu jadi tersalah. janggal sebab dia seorang ustaz. yakni lelaki. nanti type2 sekali terbunyi macam i have crush on him pulak. haih lagi la malu. sekali pulak kalau ustaz don suka google nama beliau and then terbaca pulak post ni. harap2 tidak la (: InsyaAllah, i'll be as sincerely as i can be ye!

Listening to his talks, and kuliahs on tv helps me with my very limited Islamic knowledge. Especially trivial informations on tajwid, wudhu' and solat fardhu. There so much that i didn't know! things that i have learned in school but i merely memorised and din't really understand it whole heartedly.

i have always wish to go to kuliah but never really had the opportunity so tv programmes like 30MINIT ustaz don really help. it's a step for me. though small, but it is something to me.. insyaAllah i'll consistently look forward to attending a kuliah soon!

I wish i'd have a child one day who will fight in Allah's path as well. A fisabilillah. i wish to be one myself. too late (?). InsyaAllah..

To ustaz Don, you are especially lucky. satu antara berbilang pilihan Allah SWT. same goes to all fisabilillah. to everyone who's striving in the name of Allah semoga kekal dalam keadaan tu sampai dihisab kelak. sampai diberi ganjaran oleh ALLAH SWT kelak. Amin!

begitu jugalah to my parents, my true third love! ya ALLAH jadikan lah mama dan ayah ku pejuang di jalanMu! <3

i am sleepy - _ - malam!

Mekasih atas segalanya

2011-12-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

assalammualaikum. okay where do i start. it's been too long. i have lost a lot of words and thoughts too. but now i kind of have the time and feels like i want to post something to keep this blog alive.

let's see.. oh! i recently went to penang. it was GREAT! went there with two of my cousins. it was kind of like a suprise visit (for me!) because it wasn't properly planned. Alhamdulillah rezeki aku dapat pergi! hehe. initially it was a trip for me and my family. but my mom decided just to send me alone as the others can't make it due to a lot of things.

i was quite guilty to begin with. as if, yang best2 semua aku pergi sorang2 je. how about my parents? my sisters and bros? but i didn't turn the offer down either. heheh. Alhamdulillah dah dapat, so i just went. ;)

in Penang, we went to quite a lot of places. one that's particularly interesting for me was the WAR MUSEUM in Batu Maung. it was scary! i felt the vibe of the 1930's. the first time we went into a tunnel, i was really scared. but it was what that makes the whole trip interesting anyway. when we went into the second tunnel, it was less horrifying than the first, but still thrilling. I was in first and i am glad! to be the last person to go in, with blinding darkness, who knows what follows you?? ehehhe.

just before we went back to SP, we had drinks at the beach side of Batu Feringgi. perfect ending, i would say. Alhamdulillah. it was relieving! my knees were loosen by what seemed like endless walk through the longest night market i've been to in a while. exhausted but it was nothing as all we did actually was just walking. sipping iced drink, talking to people you're close to and having a good laugh Alhamdulillah.. it was really something worth to be kept in here(point to brain) and here(point to chest).

on the way back, in the car i was completely worn out. my face were like soggy buns. all mushy and if i were a spongy being, i'd squeeze out oil like river flows. how do i smell? you should know if i tell you that i could definitely smell myself and it wasn't nice! BUSUK Gila. haha.

before we really start the journey back, my cousins brought me to a famed char kuey tiaw stall in Alor Setar (i think). i was not as enthusiasted as i should have been because of my condition (as stated above.) but i went with it because of them. i tried my best to really taste and chew the char kuey tiaw and it was good! a glass of sirap limau ais freshen me up a bit. but it wasn't long before i fell asleep in the car. next thing i realised, we were home. Alhamdulillah. a safe ending to a day filled with EXPERIENCES!

thanks Zulfadzli and Zaynurain for EVERYTHING. really, everything because to say just gratitude, they sure gave me more. to say opportunity, it wasn't just that. it was everything. so thanks again for everything! may Allah SWT repay all the goods you've given to this pitiful cousin of yours! ececewah.

jamrah

2011-09-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

click on the title to see the enclosed link. honestly, this is an eye-opener. as a kid growing up even until i found the article i thought jamrah is where we throw stones as a symbol of condemning the syaitan. surely i was wrong. read it urself.

sabar

2011-09-09T18:06:00.000-07:00

Hadis :
Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang maksudnya:"Allah berfirman dalam hadis qudsi yang bermaksud," Tiada balasan bagi seseorang hamba-Ku yang telah Aku ambil kembali kekasihnya, kemudian orang itu mengharapkan pahala daripada-Ku melainkan orang itu akan mendapat balasan syurga." Riwayat Bukhari

Hadis :
Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang maksudnya:"Allah berfirman dalam hadis qudsi yang bermaksud," Tiada balasan bagi seseorang hamba-Ku yang telah Aku ambil kembali kekasihnya, kemudian orang itu mengharapkan pahala daripada-Ku melainkan orang itu akan mendapat balasan syurga." Riwayat Bukhari

Huraian :
Pengajaran hadis:

i) Sabar ialah mengawal diri daripada kegelisahan dan menerima segala dugaan, rintangan dan segala suruhan Allah dengan hati yang tenang iaitu tidak merasa jemu dan berputus asa dalam menghadapi kesulitan hidup.

ii) Kita hendaklah bersabar ketika menghadapi kematian suami, isteri, anak atau ibu bapa kerana semua makhluk adalah menjadi milik Allah. Malah kita dinasihatkan untuk berkata:” Sesungguhnya kami adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepada Allah jualah kami kembali.” (Maksud al-Baqarah :156)

iii) Sabar perlu dilakukan sejak mula-mula menghadapi bala kesusahan kerana seseorang yang menghadapi kesusahan dengan penuh kesabaran akan dihapuskan dosanya dan dimasukkan ke dalam syurga.

iv) Sesungguhnya setiap mukmin yang beriman kepada Allah, imannya belum dapat diperakui sebelum diuji keimanannya itu dan berjaya pula menghadapi dugaan tersebut di mana tiada balasan yang lebih besar di dunia dan akhirat daripada balasan bagi seseorang yang bersifat sabar dalam menghadapi bala ketika di dunia.

v) Setiap ujian yang diturunkan oleh Allah mempunyai hikmahnya yang tersendiri. Oleh itu untuk menjadi hamba Allah yang dikasihi, hendaklah kita bersedia menghadapi setiap ujian yang menimpa dengan penuh kesabaran, sebaliknya bagi seseorang yang tidak redha menerima ujian Allah, maka ia akan menjadi hamba yang dibenci serta jauh daripada rahmat Allah.

sumber :http://dakwah2u.blogspot.com/

silver awan mendung

2011-09-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

firman Allah SWT: Katakanlah! Wahai ahli kitab, janganlah kamu melampau dengan cara tidak benar dalam agama. Dan janganlah kamu mengikuti hawa nafsu orang-orang yang telah sesat dahulunya dan mereka telah menyesatkan kebanyakan (manusia) dan mereka tersesat dari jalan yang lurus. (al-Maidah: 77).

kesederhanaan, itulah tatacara tuntutan agama suci. bersederhanalah dalam setiap kata, tutur hati, gerak laku. bersederhanalah dalam apa sahaja. bersederhanalah bila mencintai sesama hamba, terutamanya.

"ah, bosan. jelik dan muak bertutur tentang cinta."

tidak. tidak seharusnya begitu. cinta itu suci, kerana cinta itu datang dari Allah yang Maha Pencipta. Dia titip kita dari tanah yang juga ciptaan agungNya dan kemudian datang cinta.perasaan anugerah Allah SWT yang dikotori benak nafsu dorongan syaitan terhadap manusia seperti aku yang serba kekurangan.

aku yang serba kekurangan? itu sahaja tidak mampu memanifestasi puncak tertinggi dosa-dosa ku pada Mu ya Allah. Hamba mohon keampunanMu ya Allah yang Maha pengampun.

aku hamba degil. tenggelam dalam bayangan keimanan ciptaan sendiri walhal aku sedang menongkak muka tinggi separas langitMu. "Astaghfirullah.. lihat diriku, betapa bodohnya engkau. mana malumu? mana aibmu?"

ya Allah sungguh agung kekuasaanMu, sungguh tidak tercapai akalku tentang kecintaanMu padaku. apa aku layak ya Allah? apa aku betah menerimanya? Subhanallah, ampunkan aku kala persoalan dari akal dengkel ku ini mejadi pencetus dosa. Sungguh aku jahil dan ketakutan ya Allah.

takutku bercampur harapan. Moga itu jalan terbaik yang telah engkau rencana ke atas ku. Amin.

bercakap pada cermin.

2011-08-25T03:32:00.000-07:00

one of my stress reliever is (sometimes) talking to myself on the mirror. pretending like i'm a character in deep conflict but is still compose and mature and tough habis lah! haha. it works but very short-term la. setakat merelieve stress ringan2 tu boleh la.

but when it comes to heavy drama part of my life, tentunya jalan kembali kepadaNya. not just me but kita semua. walau seberat mana kaki ni nak melangkah ke toilet utk berwuduk, but once you start, dengan izinNya, you'll never want to stop. so, LETS!

tahun ini, BRINGS 180 DEGREES flip for me. seumpama dunia ku dikocak sebagaimana kanak2 mengkocak air kotak MILO sebelum dicucuk dgn straw dan diminum SLURRRPPP.

why? apa yang membuat aku menaip sebegitu rupa? mudah. jawapannya: Takdir Allah SWT.

i'm still taking time, making effort, trying hard, staying tough to go through day by day. Alhamdulillah, Allah SWT dzat yang Maha Sempurna memberikan aku space utk muhasabah diri melihat kesilapan diri. the more i dig, the more i realise that i was too arrogant to my Creator to begin with. MALU, rasa yang sgt tebal. Malu utk meminta tp tak ada tempat utk meminta2 kecuali padaNYA.

merasa diri sudah baik, itu sangat bahaya. merasa diri kurang baik dan ingin menjadi yang lebih baik , that's the way to go. i know. menaip memang kacang. but to apply, to practice what you preach is hard until u pray and beg for Allah to give you His strength.

tiada daya dan kekuatan kecuali daya dan kekuatanMu Ya Allah.

but that is of course with Allah's grant. if we pray and let say we fail to see the effects of our prayer then istiqamah (keep going). because Allah SWT love His worshippers, love us. oh yes, Allah SWT love us to no boundaries. yes He will ALWAYS be there. It's up to me and you to cherish or to ignore that. where as, humans..... they come. and they go. as they THOUGHT they wish.

Ya Allah.. susah. memang susah utk menampar dan menolak nafsu. memang susah utk membatas nafsu dgn akal, dgn hati. Susah nya.. just those who goes through will understand.

Jihad terbesar adalah melawan nafsu masing-masing. those who succeeds, moga Syurga lah kurniaan utk nya.

i want to. but i know i'm way back....... way down low. Akan terus cuba dan mencuba. Semoga aku takkan pernah kalah, Ya Allah.

and to you too, who's reading. may we never lose.

ala chuck palahniuk?

2011-07-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

it is horrible when it happens. but so we hope time heals , and we'll soon look back and laugh it off.

which is what i so very hope to happen soon. a wound stays at least for months. why give up when it has only been days?

pride eats you so shook it. put it away and ask. nice people exists , as hard as it is to believe.

feeling overwhelmed? u see that mat hanging over there? that's where you pour it all. pour it all.

Sh!t happens. don't u dare blaming. find a mirror. and find faults in the reflection you see. don't be harsh. be fair.

yan , he's cool :) i'll pray.for u.

dulu

2011-07-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

dulu aku penah

mandi naked dgn adik beradik dlm bath tub bilik mak ayah kite

rasa nak curik lead pensil tekan kat kedai mamak

gunting kain pelikat my dad and kantoi

tak puasa masa dajah dua and selamba gi kedai mamak beli aiskrim pong

gaduh ngan budak2 lelaki from the same school by shoving penyapu towards them

berangan buat video klip nyanyi lagu Siti

minat britney spears sebab rasa dia cantiknyaaa

jadi big fan Erra and Yusry (siap scrapbooking etc.)

pergi event KRU (free concerts , fan meet u name it)

masuk tarian kat sekolah and dressed as a Sunflower styrofoam

berangan kahwin dengan kawan sekolah

bukak tudung masa form 1 (pakai balik dgn rela hati)

nangis everday before pergi sekolah masa dajah 4

sorok baju sekolah yg bersih dlm pile baju kotor sebab nak ponteng esoknya

bila my mom keluar , amek semua baju and tudung die main mekap2 dalam bilik

selalu berlakon dalam toilet

masuk singing competition walaupun mmg tak ada talent sgt (setakat karaoke bole la)

my debut odosketch

2011-07-05T11:07:00.001-07:00

pegi join odosketch to have this large amount of free fun. world wide web is more than facebook guys and girls.

sketching in Kuala Selangor.

2011-07-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

when Allah wants to give us lovely blessings that He solely owns , He would do so without prior notice. As small as it maybe to others , it means new spirit to another.

when Allah wants something to be , it is done.

i was sketching up what appears to be a poorly sketched potrait of my mom. she brought along her sketch book that me and my siblings can 'kacau' once in a while. she also had a box of pencils. none were professional ones as she probably knew it would get lost one day.

i was almost done with the potrait when one kazakhstan man (about twenties) poke his head down into my sketch and ask "can i take a picture?"

*a firework abrupt* and i said "yes yes of course,"

thanks for making my day , stranger.

young love part two (don't you dare losing hope)

2011-06-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

i pushed my feet into one doc martens , and another. today would be my first step into something. the path drawn by my martens were part of nothingness. but that day , i just knew that there would be something.

but nothing happened that day.

nor did it happened on the day after.

no , it didn't happened the next day after the day after.

still , none happened after the next day.

nothing was happening. i was trapped in nothing for 4 working days.

that was when i forgive and forget. i decided to move on. maybe there was not any spark at all. he did not even came about for me. there was no hole that he poked out from , no stars that drop a shiny poop like him , and absolutely no pumpkin was harmed to drive him to me.

i was hallucinating. i came back to earth and it clicked. he never really came.

young love part one.

2011-06-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

readers who have never been in love , can you please raise your hand and say "i've never been in love". i was you for 18 years. i was. i did fell in 'love' with a number of cartoon characters and dolls (like KEN) during my pre-inamorata years but that doesn't count , does it?

after that 18 years someone came by. i was not even aware of when did this alien came around. which hole did he poked out of? which star have dropped him down the earth like a bit of shiny poop? which pumpkin has turned into carriage to drive him to me? which was it? for all i know , he was just.. there.

and so he was right there. no , he doesn't look anything like Ken the doll. he wasn't with synthetic blonde hair or a plastic abs. he looks like he couldn't be broken into pieces like Ken the doll could. his neck was fully intact to his body , unlike Ken. he is not Ken , and i am glad.

he was not so much different than i am either. i see he has black hair , real ones too. protein strands just like mine. his skin seem elastic and real. just like mine but with a lot more visible hair. no , he's not even half as hairy as Mr. Bear was. i was glad he wasn't.

no , he is not perfect. not at all , if i may say. it is obvious that he has sight defect as he was wearing this thing sitting on his nose-bridge. yes , a spectacle. plastic and black ones just like mine. copycat.

though in a glance he looks just like me , i know for a fact that he is not. he stood higher than i ever will. i stop growing that year i turned 18. i know for sure , because all my teeth are perfectly matured. i was a bit down that i could not be a centimeter higher , but life happens.

so there he was, smack right in the middle of the crowd. looking back , there was no way that i could have seen him coming. he basically fades into the crowd further and further until a few weeks later.

the week when i have a sense that things are about to change.

it's a lot more fun when u don't actually meet.

2011-06-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

i am utterly confused.

2011-06-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

new semester starts soon! whenever someone asks me "hey cuti kau habis bila?" my answer would be "lagi sebulan =_=". and then my mom has pointed out that i've been answering "lagi sebulan" forever! haha. get what i mean tak? well. i hope u do. it means that no matter if u ask me the question this week or next week or last two days etc. my answer would still be "lagi sebulan".

i am so confused with time line right now. what month is it? july or june?

i think it feels like it's been a month that i haven't got any news from u-know (no. not u-know of that k-pop fame , but you know... that guy) but my stats says my last post was 3 weeks ago dated 1st june. and i thought he'd contacted me on the 12th. which must be less than 3 weeks ago. but why the heck does it feels like a month? confused.

are you , confused? well , don't be. kay.

stop being confused. i am not here to make you feel confused. but to get you out of the confusion so you won't be confused anymore. are you confused now? oh crap. haha. this fun! count how many confused i have typed! count! count! =_=

back to the start of new semester. i just have that whirl in my stomach saying that it would be a HARD one. both educationally , intellectually (er. kinda the same) , emotionally and physically. but i also hope that when it's hard , there's something beneath that reasons the hardness. INSYAALLAH.

new york new york deli

2011-06-02T01:21:00.000-07:00

this has been quite awhile ago. but now i have loads of time and i'll tell you'll about this joint. the one i've been to is at one utama.

the choices were awesome. banyak sgt. i'm not about to write a real review here , so pardon the lack of info ;p

nak tahu lebih , google urself okay. :)

new york2!
chocolate lake :)))))))))))))
president's smile (masa order ni , the waiter suh senyum dulu. haha). orange juice + milk

hidup ini untuk hargai keindahan milik Dia

2011-05-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

hari-hari yang mendatang terkadang penuh dengan hiruk-piruk kehidupan di taman perumahan sekitar ulu klang. dan terkadang itu , kami sekeluarga teringin benar melonjak gembira di atas pasir putih indah ciptaan Allah. pasir putih indah yang tertampar oleh deras ombak laut yang masin , tiada yang lebih indah dari gambaran itu. Alhamdulillah , rezeki berkunjung tiba dan impian kami sekeluarga tertunai lah akhirnya.

pada tiap hujung minggu , langkah roda kereta meliuk simpang siur lebuhraya menapak di pantai puteri berdekatan rumah persinggahan di Melaka.

ku santapkan gambar-gambarnya.

kemanisan itu dari kerelaan.

2011-05-26T07:13:00.000-07:00

i'm a bot tired. but since sleeping would not be the best thing to do now , i might as well post something out while it is still fresh in my mind. today i went out with some of my friends again. alhamdulillah. it was great!

again , we went out to eat first. apa2 pun , EAT. hehe. manja suggested AEON au2 and we all agreed. it's near , and don't know where else to go. besides , what could be more cliched than pavillion and KLCC. my least favourite places of all.

i picked up qomal , sepp and wani with my darling MYVI. i was still a bit snoozy because i just woke up less than an hour ago.

sampai dekat AEON au2 , we called manje and rupanya dia dah sampai. tgh keluarkan duit kat chimp. Eh i mean , CIMB. manja taleh join dulu. sebab dia nak beli barang ape tah kat supermarket. so the four of us pergi round dulu cari tempat nak makan. masing2 tak decide lagi.

masa jalan TERlalu depan rumah kaca AF. haha. spontaneously , me and wani waved dekat pak nil. tatau la kenapa. bukannya MINAT pun. TAK MINAT. tapi , bila ada kawan , kita jadi lain dari biasa ;p sekali dia pun macam ternampak kemilau bila kitorang lalu and wave back. qomal nak wave jugak. tapi mission fail. qomal tak dapat perhatian sesiapa. haha. lepas wani dah excited pak nil wave , dia nak pulak wave yang lain , tapi i pulled her and the rest away , sebab kita nak makan dulu!

okay. kedai makan mmg banyak dekat situ. tapi tatau nak makan kat mana. lagipun tempat yang kitorang nak semua diragui sijil halalnya. dalam hati macam "takpe takpe. yakin halal. jom la" tapi takyah lah amik risk kan , BANYAK lagi tempat lain apaaa. apa nak pegi tempat yang ragu2 pulak kan!

okay so qomal suggested auntie kwan's (clone madam kwan's). we all dah masuk dah pun , siap dah alih2 meja nak duduk enam orang. sekali , qomal tetiba taknak. berubah hati. sebab die kata menu dia biasa je. i was glad pun sebab bau kat situ macam semacam je.

last-last decide nak makan kat BLACK CANYON. okay la. wasn't a bad choice. banyak choice drinks. ada yang makan ada yang tak.

lepas makan , nak tengok wayang. tapi tak lagi , jalan dulu. nak cari baju muslimah ala2 NUR AMINA. haha. tu aku la. orang lain nak cari apa tah. saja tengok2. siapa yang tak suka WINDOW SHOPPING!

masuk tz factory try baju! ni activity wajib for me and my friends bila keluar. i think most of us macam tu kan? mesti try. beli ke tak , belakang cerita! wani amek satu , qomal amek dua , aku amek satu. bila try "euw" haha. tapi at last i bought one shirt. memang nak. kat sleeve die kembang2 so boleh nampak macam tangan i slim ;p
three of us cramped up in a cubicle. tak best la try sorang2 kan. ni la time nak reveal segala ape. hehe. takde ar. best share cubicle , bole tanya opinion. kalau sorang2 buat comment sendiri. tak best.

afterwards manja have to go. tatau sebab apa. i couldnt remember. we all semua ingat manja balik lewat. tp takpelah. show must go on.after manje , tipah lak balik. ala. tinggal la empat orang balik.

okay the four of us pun ready nak keluar from situ and nak pergi wangsa walk , tgk KARAK. wani and me tunggu dalam kereta jap. qomal and sepp tah merayau beli TAKO TAO la. nasib baik beli utk aku. haha.

dalam kereta, share jap tako tao. wani kata "begedil ke tu?". haha. lawak siot. a'ah la. begedil jepun. dia kata sedap gila. siap tanya kat mana. haha. this is what i like about my friends. appreciate benda kecik like TAKO TAO. susah nak dapat kawan mcm ni. duduk KL tapi tak la poyo ;)

okay okay dah sampai wangsa walk. so we watched KARAK. yang biasa2 je. seriously , i thought KRU STUDIOS ni cerita dia best2. tapi. so far , semua macam biasa je. Magika dulu tu bole la. ni karak. hopeless la sikit. its 2 out five. betul. tak tipu. or maybe because right now i can only watch nurkasih je kot. haha.

after movie terus balik. dah lewat dah. dekat kul 7. anta sume balik and singgah rumah qomal. jumpa rayyan dgn shaim. anak2 sedara dia. kihut2 semua. yang rayyan siap ikut pegi kedai. baru 6 months. chubby. lenguh tangan i ;p rasa pelik pegang baby sorang2. sebab dah lama adik2 ku besar gedabak. tada baby dah lama dah. ni nak kena biasakan balik. ehehehe. nak anak jugak an. ala standard ah tu. dah 20 mesti dah pikr anak. yer dak ;p

and then , that's it. i drove back home and tengok nurkasih. ;)

tiada bergigi yang satu entah hilang ke mana tak tahu.

2011-05-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

i just found this video on youtube (mana lagi). dah lama tau dah this scene sebab dah banyak kali tengok anak halal (my mom tesalah "beli cite anak haram tu eh anak halal tu"). remy ishak dah banyak kali encounter dengan maya karin. after anak halal they paired up as husband and wife in Natrah teater. and then in Cun. Which i watch multiple times for some scenes that are very liquid-like! smooth and so real. in this video nampak ada someone tu dia punya gigi takde satu. tapi dalam nur kasih masa drama2 dengan Nur macam mana pulak ruang kosong tu dah tak ada. sebab dia dah pegi dentist tampal gigi sebab dia dah kaya by now. enjoy!

nur kasih

2011-05-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

haha. for sure my blog traffic akan sesak mesak with this title! nur kasih phenom la konon. baru je balik from watching it with my mom , aunt and sis. tak best langsung!!!!!!!!!!! macam haktuiih! hape punya cite tah! menyesal aku!

not.

;p gila tak bes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya Allah lama dah tak tengok movie menyentuh everything macam ni. seriously , nak tengok lagi and bak kata mak lang "nak beli dvd". mama pulak sampai umah terus nak capai laptop , log in FB umumkan kat status yang die sekarang FAN REMY ISHAK yg hitam tu. macam ayah la ye. ye la ye la...... i bet dalam cinema tadi , semua aunty2 kakak2 yang dah kahwin tapi kelua tak bawak husband mesti kata "eh macam laki aku la pulak si adam nih" haha. including me la kan. padahal husband pon not yet ;p

kesian aidil. ade ke yang minat aidil tu???????

gila tak ada! haha. yang fan nur kasih yang makcik2 mesti suka ah adik beradik yang tak wujud tu. but seriously , kalau ada , memang family contoh... ;)

banyaknya nak cite about this movie! memula yeah i was skeptical sangat. macam rasa mesti movie ni slow gila yang boring sangat sampai takkan minta nur kasih dah. sekali tengok! bamm. wow.

tak la wow cane but it was....... touching. sedih aw. and realistic la. maybe over la kan remy ishak and tiz zaqyah tu belakon memang like a real husband and wife (in fact , dorang ni kawin je la betul2!) but adam and nur amina so sweet! sweet yang everybody mesti imagine themselves to have a relationship yang mcm tu nanti ;p teeeheeeee heeeee heeeeeeee (tetibe rasa mcm malu nya)

ni sekarang baru lepas download ost nur kasih yang best. seriously , best.

nak tengok lagi. bye nak mimpi konon2 kita yang jadi nur amina and yang orang tuh jadi adam. hahahahah (poyo gila ;p)

ah bye lah!

Sweetness came out of force.

2011-05-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

i had quite a blast yesterday! dah lama dah tak keluar with my friends. best gile. it was an experience that i dearly missed. it wasn't as crazy as it used to be , it was more relax but nevertheless, sangat best!

i miss them so much! i miss being with them and lay around talking about nothing but still manage to have fun. Alhamdulillah. i'm getting better now. i guess it's true , sometimes we have to force ourselves to do something to get the sweetness of it.

semalam first thing first pergi OU. sebab qomal nak beli wallet kat padini. memula qomal ajak pergi pavi which i so very hate ;p bukan sebab apa , but sebab parking dia mahal gila nak mati. apa ada hal , sampai rm3 satu jam! sama la macam KLCC curi duit orang ja parking mahal-mahal! chet.

OU best , OU baik. parking for 4 hours pun RM1 je okay! parking senang pulak tuh. ha. tu pasal la , kalau nak pergi pavi pocket kena deep, wallet kena thick sebab parking pun mahaiiii. nak shopping , apa tah lagi. lagi pun tak minatlah dengan brand-brand dashat2 tu. there's no thrill of seeking something pretty amongst trashes sebab yang ada terdisplay semuanya dah cantik-cantik. tengok bundle , dalam lambakan tu nampak macam alahai buruknya semua , sekali korek-korek dapat yang cantik gila! harga? alahai rm5! puas hati woh.

so that is why i decided to ajak qomal "kita pergi OU lah!". lagi pun sekarang zaman dah ada lesen semua (Ahamdulillah ;)))) so takyah la naik turun LRT lagi. Nak gi OU pun dah boleh dah! kereta ada , drive je la kan. duit parking? sharing.

sampai je OU qomal ajak tengok movie. actually , i didn't think of going to the movies sebab ingat nak pergi padini terus. tapi dah ajak , of course la nak pergi. i can never say no to movies. no no no never ! ada Nurkasih exactly at 12.10 memang okay sangat lah kan , but i resist the temptations sebab dah janji nak tgk dgn my mom and my aunt (wajib la berjanji sebab Nurkasih ni cam big deal gila ;p). dulu i did mungkir janji with my mom kata nak tgk dgn dia sekali tertgk dulu , lepas tu terus rasa gulity and kena marah sekali. so takleh , kena lawan gak that temp. so tengok lah kongsi. ingat nak tgk insidious tapi insidious pun sort of dah janji nak tgk dengan someone so tgk lah kongsi. qomal pun mmg nak tgk kongsi. KONGSI starring sam. shahezy sam cmtu la lebih kurang (i dont understand why people dig this guy so much. biasa2 je to me).

after Kongsi baru la kitorg gi solat then masuk Padini. haih. kat sini lagi temptation yang dashat. everything looks so nice! semua macam cantik-cantik je. no wonder la because sekarang spring season (though kita tade 4-seasons tp almost semua outlet yang best2 bukan malaysian made so.....). banyak floral prints, candy colours , and semua nya sweet-sweet! no la. i dont really love la things yang sweet looking tapi dah nama athirah (hence , a girl) so mesti la ada suka jugak.

kasut yang paling tak boleh nak tahan! cantik gila! vincii memang suka camni. bila dah beli kasut lain , baru dia nak lawa! masa cari kasut kat dia sume buruk-buruk la sangat. buruk yang ish. menyampah. buruk gila! tapi time orang cam dah rasa bersalah nak beli (sebab baru je beli) dia start ah nak lawa gila babs! ba(by) la kau vincii.

i tried on few sandals (masa tu qomal kat mana tah , hilang pergi cari wallet yang dia nak the last 3 months). ada satu ni sandal yang cam selipar jepun tu tapi ada zipper kat belakang? tau kan? paham tak? and ada huge ass light pink flower kat depan. flower tipu tapi cam real yang cam kat meja makan rumah kita semua yang mak kita beli kat romantika la semua tu. that kind of flower. i think it was lily. sweet gila. strap and zipper colour hitam so paired with the flower nampak okay sangat not too sickly sweet. i want one! harga rm79. terus macam lupakan ja lah. and then ada satu lagi ni probably my dream sandal! the same type (selipar jepun and zipper) except dia tak pakai zipper la , dia pakai macam apa benda tah utk seal yang belakang tu. mmg menyusahkan nak bukak and pakai. probably the downside of the sandal. nevertheless it was so pretty! colour die metallic turqoise! with blue ribbons and trinklets. it's very me ;) nak beli memang nak. harga rm33. ok la kan! but nanti lah. mintak someone pitch in half ke. haha. (abang? or mama? ;p)

after pergi padini we dropped by few other shops like deeper harder or vice versa. and oh yeah! masa sampai kitorg makan kat pizza milano! sedap! harga pun okay! i ate beef lasagna (menyesal letak tobasco yuck) qomal ate alto piano ke apa tah but it was chicken pasta. pun sedap. minum mineral ;) tah tetiba skang cam dah pandai nak jimat ;p

masa tgh jalan-jalan tu terjumpa our old friends! reeha , tika and husna. and dgn cotton on qomal la jumpa kawan2 dia fuad and ali kot.

afterwards , dua2 macam agak dah tepu dengan OU and penat lagi haus. mulut pun dah tercakap dah. okay lah jom lah kita belah from OU. qomal ajak gi AU2 kat JJ. boleh makan ice cream sambil tgk rumah AF (haha pathetic but fun boleh tgk orang tanpa rasa besalah). tapi tak jadi cos kita sama2 decide nak cari wani dekat uia.

cfs uia dekat seksyen 17 je. supposely dekat lah dengan OU. and memang dekat. pusing2 Alhamdulillah jumpa gak tempat ni. we drove in and park depan mahallah khadijah where wani is and suruh die turun. wani pon berlari la turun bawak tudung makcik cleaner untuk qomal. and kitorang sangat la laparnya and hausnya so ajak dia pegi makan. wani bawak gi E cafe. lapa gila nih , dapat seat best pulak. duduk kat tepi balcony kat kedai tu. dah la sejuk. buliding dia lak batu bata so perasan macam UK2 la konon. best la. the environment. hujan so sejuk. macam ada barakah la meeting kitorg ;p

after makan , mula2 ingat nak balik terus. but then , buat apa kan. dah datang jauh2. so naik dulu bilik wani. "ikut pintu belakang" hahaha. okay. so pusing kat belakang mahallah , parking and naik lift gi tingkat 3. macam scary sikit la hostel tuuu ;p bekas hospital so... hehe. tapi tade apa pun.

jumpa dengan roommate wani , izni and farah. baik and sweet. bagi je nak pinjam apa pun. selipar ke telekung ke takpe2 pinjam la. haha. i miss having roommates sebab sekarang dah tak duduk hostel lagi ;(

kitorang crashed kat situ from that petang sampai kul 8 lebih. at one time wani cam cuak gila , ingat ustazah dia datang. nak suruh kitorang sorok. kat mana? haha tah le. tade space pun. ada satu katil kosong sebab roommate dia sorang dah kelua so dapat la baring2 kat situ , borak2 , gelak2. i miss it so much!

afterwards , before balik wani bawak gi blok tasha. my oldest friend so sweet my fga. cari bilik tasha tatau kat ne. ada someone cakap tasha kat 118. skali ketuk2 "salah bilik kot" rupanya 108. okay. and tasha greet us with the best reaction! haha! bestnya la dapat visit kawan camni. she was so happy to see us and we were as happy as she is too. even more. especially myself la sebab memang tak pernah tepikir nak tgk tasha kat hostel dia.

dah jumpa tasha lak offer nak photog so of course! we jump at the chance. one of the bes priviledges of having friends is kita boleh tangkap gambar comel together ;p not so comel la. but so sweet nya sangat! i love it! hahahah! love it.

so that was that. masa nak balik tuh salah jalan. patut ikut duke tetibe termasuk LDP. memang round KL la h malam tu dengan qomal. bila dah jumpa signboard "ulu klang" sangat lah lega kitorang. baru sedar yang kitorang ni orang KL yang tatau KL. therefore bukan orang KL sangat la kan.

that particular feeling.

2011-05-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

i am not feeling well these days. my head hurts. my stomach hurts. my heart aches the most. i sound very frustrating dont i? perhaps because that's just the way it is. a friend told me that i should just be who i am/was as in a person who's fairly carefree and happy. maybe i wasn't conciously carefree , i was not aware of what was going on around me , the problems that i had because i was just a kid. i was barely out there. i was not introduced to the real world yet. but now that i have been out there , have been introduced to what the real world is , i become less carefree and i begin to worry about everything. that's just who i am nowadays. i worry , i care , i'm adult. i'm not a kid. not a girl with clean path behind and ahead of her.

i am beginning to realise that as you wake up in the morning there's equal chance in screwing up as much as gaining something happy. equal chance that you might smile or cry all day. okay , i may have not cry all day (Allah forbid..) but i did spent partial hours of my day breaking down.

that particular heart-crumpling feeling is just not right. i know there is a deep and dark hole right inside of. not literally , but certainly metaphorically , it's fair that i shall say i am body with a hole right through me , making me penetrateable to almost anything.even as small as a debris of angst.

i'm just not happy.

clear my heart

2011-05-08T01:22:00.000-07:00

i suppose i am in great danger now. i have been going around my notes back and forth ever since this morning at 7 am. and i still haven't finish even 3 chapters. and there's about 7 more to go. and i have only until tonight. i had plenty of time since yesterday. but of course , what's the thrill in exams if not studying at the very last minute?

or as some extreme people are , not study at all? like someone i affectionately know. speaking of whom , have caused me a major breakdown. i am positive that i am bipolar. at least with that particular affectionately-known someone. having a dual personality that changes almost as frequently as i binge-eat is not fun. it is torturing. in fact , i am starting to fear that i may conduct something out of sheer stupididty. may Allah guide me through all this.

seeing the other light of my life , which is brighter and more positive is my family. particularly my mother. it is man-made mother's day today. as a child and tween , i always made my mother a card or a little giffy in the form of something she would like. but not anymore now. the tradition is not a tradition after all. my sisters and brothers doesn't continue to do so ever since i stopped doing so. no , it is not because i fought with my mother and refused to wish her happy mother's day. but it was her request for us not to celebrate it for her. she said that she doesn't want to instill in us (the chilldren) that mother's day is only on mother's day. every day should and will always be mother's day for us. we love our mother every day and we express that to her every day too. though me and my siblings are not the loud type when it comes to expressing love for our parents , i know we are trying our best to show it to them in our ways.

but still , i have always love giving gifts to people that i care for. sometimes even for people i dont really care about because it's sort of a hobby of mine. to prepare and give gifts.

back to mother's day , i want to pay tribute to my mama today. saying thank you to her over here. she never reads my blog and most probably never will because she admits to 'not knowing anything about blogging or blogs'. how is she going to receive this thanks you ask? i know she will. somehow in someway she will. i have always been able to talk to her about problems that i could never share with anyone else. i could tell her things that most daughters won't tell their moms. i love her cooking and she always know what looks good on me. she tells me all the harshest truth with the best interest in her heart. she would not sugar-coat any facts because she wants me to be true to myself. for that i love her. and my ayah too. as well as my siblings. they are the only treasures i have got , after all.

we climbed up bukit broga.

2011-03-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

noticed we? yup. it is not i who climbed up. but it was we. for without the others , i doubt i'd be up there. because i was ventilating half-dead. Alhamdullilah i wasn't literally half-dead. but felt like it.

being an amature i was a bit cocky. i din't anticipate for the climb to be that tiring. and now , i do believe in the metaphore that life , is a climb. because life is as hard as climbing is. the difference is , climbing is hard physically. while life is hard on both. but like life as well , the climb was worth it.

as the clock approached 1.3o am on sunday morning. i was still on my bed , sleeping. as the clock ticks to 2.30 am on sunday morning , i was still on my bed sleeping. but when the clock hits 2.36 am on sunday morning , i know i had to get up. by the time the clock turn 3.00 am , i was already on the road.

yes, i skipped my bath.

more on that and others , later.

seharian di sekolah atira.

2011-03-06T02:56:00.000-08:00

datang2 dengan sekotak domino's semalam dalam tangan. letak atas meja and makan. pukul 7.30 pagi ok.
"eh eh aku da makan. aku tanak. korang makan ah"

xatie boyan "my face worthed millions." pose

me being the good student i never did my homework at school. so i just watch and give them pep talk. "haih.. apa nak jadi.. tu la.. duk umah buat lemak je.. kat skola dlm kelas baru nak tgk homeowork" kononnya.

okayyyy dah boleh berambusss.

i love every second of it.

fresh looking freja beha

2011-03-06T02:47:00.000-08:00

i like the way she looks on this cover. the make up works good on her. i especially like the brows. the make up looks light and airy. so does her hair.

nak mcm tu.

friends who are blood ties 3.

2011-03-05T07:31:00.001-08:00

fun facts :

we were born on the same year in 1991
zay was born in february and me in march.
though zay was brought out into the world first , she is ADIK and i am AKAK the way we are generally known as in the family. so there you go. IRONY.
zay's mak (my mak long) is AKAK and my ma (zay's mak ngah ) is ADIK. there you go again. IRONY. it's a family thing.
and oh yeah , we're cousins. but to me , she is a friend with blood ties.

year 2007

year 2011

friends who are blood ties 2.

2011-03-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

the tema which is not disengajakan is KASUTS AND SELIPARS. i just notice wherever we go aunty sha2 will help us capture the picture of the shoes we're wearing. nothing artsy but just warm and fuzzy.

yang ni dekat jetty langkawi!!!!!1 kaki hitam semua because lots of running in the sun by the beach. and semua berflip flop sebab mood pantai. but ade kasut keje tu is ayah. wants to jump in the shot.and naha tu kasut baru , so pasir ke air laut ke die nak prove nike can just do it.

this collage ada campur rojak sikit. the one with the boys tu dalam KTM . dekat bunkbeds. kitorang conquer dekat 10 bunkbeds kot. sebab kitorang ramai. ajiq dengan qaedy tgh manja2 habis la tu. okayh yang gamba pompuan dua orang itu is me and zay. dekat sg.wang. masa tu ade GEMPAK karnival. memang gila punya best punye gila. and we all dapat jumpa darth vader in person. i mean in costume. and of course the kaki busuks are taken o the floor of sg.wang yang jugak busuk. tapi best. sebab ada kitorang. all photos belongs to aunty shasha. perhaps the aunt yang korang takan dapat! heheh.

friends who are blood ties.

2011-03-05T06:52:00.001-08:00

ni la name friends with blood ties! which i believe is the kind of friendship that lives beyond time and places! kami adikberadik sepupusepapat tapi kami ade bond friends. paham ka.. what are we doing bergelimpang mcm tu? well actually we're trying to impersonate ini :

sume aunty
shasha punye idea. die art director. aunty sha sha is our aunty. like a real mak sedara. but she is our friend with blood ties.

yang ni asal? asal nak gegadoh cam thug pendek lak ni? okayh this is the clash of the tua and muda. i mean i am muda la but in comparison to dua thugs pendek tuh , kitorang tua. tua megah. yang another one tu excluded sebab terlalu muda untuk photoshoot seganas ni.

i am number four (whatever number pon i dont care)

2011-02-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

okayh. went to see i am number four yesterday. and i we were like woh pumped up gila! CARI PARKING SAMPAI SETENGAH JAM. ye la. midvalley. never mind never mind ( sape suruh ponteng solah. ha kan dah kena cash)

before i ramble more on how 'GREAT' the movie was. let me first bring you into the lost world of MIDVALLEY'S PARKING BAYS.

ala. malas ah plak. tayah ar. skip skip.

okay i am number four is rather 'boleh la..' seriously we expected for it to be different like KICK ASS did. but we certainly were aiming for the moon when we should have known that we could only get the lowest hill. not even a hill , a bump je la. tu pon bump yang flatten dah lubang-lubang kene langgar lori.

dissapointing. rasa macam tayah tgk pon dah tau. very PREDICTABLE. mesti ade the jock vs the new guy who is nice to the nerd. and must be a connection between one of the prettiest girl in school dgn the new guy. and rupanya the girl ex girlfriend the jock. so the jock benci new guy and new guy ni sama2 benci jock skali dgn nerd tadi. nerd tadi become good buddies with the new guy and eventually the new guy yang baik ni dapat the girl. and the jock insaf and become friends with the new guy , the nerd and the girl. the end.

tu je la i am number four. the difference is the new guy is one of the aliens yang escaped form another planet and he has superpowers. and then comes another alien girl form the same planet as the new guy and team up together to go against bad alien dudes who is afer the new guy.

blah. krohhhh krohh. so make sure you pick someone you know you'll have a good time with no matter what kalau nak jugak tgk movie snooze cmni.

family holiday's ruined by me ( ke unikl?)

2011-02-23T05:14:00.000-08:00

supposely. my family was planning to go for short holiday ths coming march. exactly on 12. because the school holiday has started and my younger bro who's in foundation is also on holiday.

unfortunately. rezeki tade. Allah kata tak dapat.

because i'm starting my mid sem holiday this saturday until 6th of march only. huhuhuhuhuuhuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. huu.

seriously i was like pumped up to go to bukit broga then boleh pegi ikut family on the 12th. but. since i ( i mean unikl) screw up the plan , i dont have the heart to go to broga and enjoy by myself when my family had to stay kat kl je just because masa tu i have class. huhuuuuuhuuuuuuuuuuu. huu.

nak ajak family up the hill? how la? mama x suka naik tempat tinggi (even genting highland yang best tu pon she hates). plus , kene climb up. must be tiring for them. i mean , even i myslef pon tatau la stamina enough ke tak nak sustain sampai atas.

huuuhuuuuhuhuhuhu. huu.

what's up.

2011-02-23T04:53:00.000-08:00

sangat nya boring lah the title but it;s okay lah because i have nothing better to type lah.

okay basically today is tiring but wholesome. penuh beraktiviti. for me la.

sikit2 snoozeeeee masa healthcare ethics but towards the end tu better lah.

and i did a little bit more of lab work today. with my spazzie tablemates (why spazzie? tah cm best je). and a nutty busuk abang ;)

he wrote THICK under ringkasan klinikal for CSF sample but i read it as THIUK because of his super bad wrinkly writing yang sebenanye cantik ( jgn sensitif abang ;p) and dekat blank for jantina dlm borang tu die tulis L kononnya but nampak like a C. hhahahahahah gender ape C? tulisan... memang doctor.

tomorrow also got another lab. so does friday. it can get a bit dull bila dah dua jam in the lab but to think it back , that;s what i would get paid for doing soon insyaAllah so jadi semangat! hahah duit duit!

how do i wrap this up?

like this.

number one was killed in MALAYSIA.

2011-02-20T04:44:00.000-08:00

i'm psyched by the fact that these words : number one was killed in Malaysia. by the lead of the film I AM NUMBER FOUR (alex pettyfer, eh?)

MALAYSIA. MALAYSIA. i dont know if that was randomly chosen by the writer or is it significant that 'number one' of nine who escaped was kill in MALAYSIA!

NOW I KNOW HOW PSYCHED IT IS FOR MY COUNTRY TO BE MENTIONED IN A TRAILER MADE IN THE U.S.

i am so seeing the movie. (okeh abang!)

i dont have a pen case.

2011-02-19T22:25:00.000-08:00

i have a bag and normally my bag is the one that hangs on the shoulder. i used to wear the one that slongs across my shoulder , but i preffered the shouldered ones now. so i grabbed one of my mom's bag and apparently it is roxy (you'd expect ma to have a bonia bag or anything of that sort right? but this is my ma and goven that i sometimes am her advisor on bags, that explains why my mom owned a roxy handbag). the bag has a pocket on the front where i could put some stuff inside. i occupied the space with my eyeliner and a bottle of lip stain together with the only pen i own these days.

i don't have a pen case.

but in case if i found something like this.

i might consider having one afterall.

hotels

2011-02-15T06:36:00.000-08:00

do you know the feeling you have when u just got back from a holiday.

paling paling torture masa sekolah dulu. like , hari ni ahad , baru sampai rumah from langkawi la kata. terseksanya batin dan zahir bila fikir besok monday. kul 7 kene gi sekolah. padahal monday lepas kul 7 ngah tido balik after solah or tgh siap2 nak terjun pool dgn adiks n cousins. tau kan ? the feeling?

betul la org tua kata. apa yang pahit untuk kita telan sekrg.. sangat manis utk dikenang di kemudian hari. (ada tak orang tua cakap?) sebab sekarang if i reminisce back to those moments which was horryfying back then , i could smile sorang2. it's really nice. see. i wouldnt imagine myself saying that experience was nice.

sekarang dah tak sekolah , all those things in school seem like a kacang. senang and carefree.

nanti bila dah keje hopefully rasa campus tu best and carefree jugak.

kenapa post ni title hotels? oh tu salahkan loman. die asek whining "nak pegi equatorial bangi.. boleh lah .... boleh laaa" ever since we got back from there two days ago.

photo:jiggsy

mana peginya?

2011-02-15T02:45:00.000-08:00

i want to write about MAULIDUR RASUL as a way to remember Nabi Muhammad s.a.w the true idol for humans of all kind.

but i have not find the right words to lined out because i should be performing solah right now.

the power of Allah.

moving on.

liquidy nose

2011-02-14T05:15:00.000-08:00

i should be dumping my asses on the couch and topping my lap with an i-pad (ecewah , no la. with a laptop) and digging my noses (? bape banyak nose aku ada) into the piling lab reports and actually prioritise solah.

but i'm very lazy so i'll just continue here.

my nose is very liquidy for the past few days. since i dont have twitter to announce to no one , i believe i can do so here.

trouble with hingus is that it tends to flow backward into my throat (ye keh? eh? is this anatomicaly and physiologically right?) and become kahak (i mean sputum) yang tak berape nak jadi. so it just got stuck there and i feel like vomitting all the time. haihhh.

nevermind, moving onnn. yesterday my ma got really upset with me because i got up late for the whole week end. bangun lebih pukul 11 is very bad considering my age and how pysically big and mature i am. i guess , i am not that matured after all. but it hurts bad lah when the matters of my relationship got thrown into the mix. i wish it didnt. because it's not. it's just me myself and my asses. (asses?)

oh btw , asal aku tgh tgk cite Gemilang skrg? (tau tak? gemilang??)

i feel bad lah for feeling bad over my family. i mean i dont mind if i'm having personal feud with others but not with mua famillia. (cane french campur italian? dah la wrong spelling hah) i am sorry ayah , mama , and my adiks. i love you guys. (i hope they'll read this because i dont have the gut to go and tell them this seriously cos they will end up looking at me like i'm a freak and i'll end up laughing at my own asses too.asses lagi.) i love you all very mucheeeeee <3

ya Allah please help me retain keluarga saya. T_T

back to... me. selfish me. i got a new swatch. huhuhu. nak type pun rase bersalah gila. janji janji i will made up to my parents huhuhuuhuhuhuuuuu

too emotional to type huhuhuuuuuu huuhuuuuuuu huuuuuuuu

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركات

nama saya...

2011-02-10T18:36:00.000-08:00

nama betul saya nurul athirah farhanah binti noorazli. so boleh panggil saya noorazli. tapi saya takkan jawab la. so better panggil saya athirah.

soalan : nak panggil nurul boleh ?

boleh. tapi takkan jawab jugak. ramai sangat orang nama nurul. kalau saya panggil awak nurul boleh?

jawapan : eh tak boleh la awak.

ok. saya pun tak boleh panggil nurul jugak. moving on , umur saya 19 tahun 10 bulan lebih lebih.

soalan : lebih lebih?

ha'ah. asal?

jawapan : ...........

teruskan , saya duduk kat keramat , ulu klang.

soalan : dato' keramat ek????

haish.. bukan... lembah keramat..

jawapan: ...... ooo lembahhhh...

lagi , saya beranak kat.. eh bukan bukan.. saya lahir kat hospital universiti , PJ. sekarang panggil ppum.

kenyataan mengundang lempang : tak tanya pun.

(#$$%#$&*!!!!)

soalan : apa dia awak cakap?

eh takde apa. next , saya sekolah kat SMK lembah keramat. *dekat dekat rumah je.

*justifikasi sedar diri bukan ex-mrsm , ex-sms dan sebagainya.

soalan : result SPM awak?

(result spm? apadehal. dah seribu tahun lepas pun still nak tanya ke?) result saya biasa je.

kenyataan : eleh.... ya la tu.. takpa la awak taknak jawab. tapi saya 28 A. eh. salah. 28 A1.

(#@#%$%^#!!) TAHNIAH TAHNIAH. seterusnya , saya anak sulung. adik beradik saya lima orang , termasuk saya.

kenyataan : laaa saya ingat awak anak bongsu dalam keluarga yang besar.

(what do you mean???) kenapa ?

jawapan : tak la.. saya ingat awak ni banyak kakak dengan abang...

(aku tanya lain kau jawab lain.) oh... tak la. anak first. something else , saya pernah masuk *matriks dulu.

*justifikasi berpengalaman lepas terguris dianggap anak last. hancur ego anak first.

soalan : eh? ya ke! kat mana? saya pun! tapi saya dapat offer pergi sini. saya suka sini lah. bukan saya tak boleh buat tapi saya yang pilih nak pindah. hassle lah matriks. dia layan macam budak sekolah je. Rugi lah result saya kalau saya terus kat situ. oops terlebih pulak.

(tahu pun kau) eh awak tanya apa tadi?

jawapan : matriks kat mana lah awak ni

dua tempat. changlun dengan pilah. saya pindah sebab saya *homesick.

*justifikasi bahawa kejujuran itu lebih baik dari pretending aku kuat.

reaksi muka : (ohmaigod pasal tu je)

(kau buat muka asal @$%^$&^!)

soalan : awak tak pernah masuk asrama eh?

tak. saya tak minat. saya suka duduk rumah.

kenyataan typical budak over-confident : habis nanti dah kahwin pun takkan nak duduk dengan emak lagi?

(@!%$%!!) eh siapa kata. saya tak minat asrama. rasanya kalau kahwin tak duduk asrama.

reaksi muka : dumbfounded.

ok. rasanya itu je la intro saya. *awak?

*justifikasi bahawa menunjukkan minat terhadp orang lain itu penting. walaupun ada kemungkinan terpaksa menahan panas telinga dan bontot mendengar perihal peribadi mereka yang tak sekepala langsung dengan kita , jangan lah bertindak rude dan tinggalkan mereka semasa intro sedang berjalan. who knows di hujung intro mungkin mereka reveal something yang sesuai dengan peribadi diri kita sendiri. kalau tak dengar kita akan miss peluang mencari someone dengan potensi sahabat duniawi and ukhrawi. chewah.

fashion forward.

2011-01-06T05:47:00.000-08:00

it's been long since i last step out in a H2T ensemble. i mean , of course lah , i have been going out with h2T clothes.but an ensemble? no.

my weight is really affecting the way i feel. if i feel light and can wear any clothes i have comfortably , i would feel like the prettiest and thus i wouldn't really mind about what people perceived of me because i feel fabulous.

bu then , if i feel very heavy like nak berjalan pun mcm seksa je..than i would be totally down. malas nak bersiap2 cantik or pakai baju best. i would focus more on clothes that will give the illusion of slim. which is what is happening right now.

to be fashion forward and weight forward never works out for me.. so now i am more comfortable wearing whatever it is that i think makes me look slimmer than what i really want to wear.. huhu. it's a bit sad really.

but. if i have been at a healthy weight before, why can't i right now? right?

geram tgk macam2 baju dalam almari tu yang i used to fit quite nicely but now masuk tu mmg la bole masuk kan. tapi cam nangka yang kena bungkus2 kat atas pokok tu. ketat and mampan. if i were a nangka takpe la. but i am human. so it's not a good sight to be 'wrapped' like a nangka. (no offence nangka. i love you)

what matters most is to find clothes that are your size. i mean , alter or extent clothes to suit our body instead of doing it the opposite way. sebab , i found out , even during my gemuk days sometime there are times when i feel pretty and very confident. those are the days which i wear clothes that are well fitted on me. i mean , it may look huge on a hanger , but once put on me , it looks great. like it should be.

and then about tudung. wearing a tudung and wanting to be fashionable is quite challenging. that is why i don't blame some who just couldnt care less about multiple-pinning their tudung or lilit2 like most people sekarang because memang leceh. like me myself , most of the days i am more comfortable wearing the normal tudung yang empat segi tu dengan pin satu je. senang nak bukak and pakai balik. but some days yang rajin tu memang la sangat gila rajin sampai lilit bape banyak kali tah. sampai bole ikat2 kat tepi la. try la konon2 nak pakai tudung pelik2.

shoesss. hmm. this one i am quite okay actually. i love shoes. and i have always been using the sneakers/slippers/sandals and jeans combo. kalau pergi kelas i wear gladiator sandals (except on labdays. kene la pakai my sneakers yang dah buruk tuh). if keluar to the malls apa-apa pun bleh. mana yang senang tu yang i will wear.kalau setakat eleh pegi mamak ke ape , selipar la paling best.

i have lots of heels! and harga die bukan harga vincci. which actually memang i tak layak nak pakai. ehehe. tapi dah gatal sangat nak belikannn. last2 offer bagi to my ma. but die pon "eih tanak aku" huhu. pass on to my anak2 la nanti. insyaAllah. heheheh

i'll continue on babbling about stuff i own next post. byebye.

patutnya kena kemas tapi

2011-01-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

....takde mood lagi. hehe. boleh camni? boleh ah an.

my mom asked me to tidy up the house and put the dirty laundry into the washing machine before tomorrow (kalau tak adik2 takde baju sekolah nak pakai). haha let it be bila takde baju diorg tak yah gi sekolah. diorg happy saya puntakde keje. hahah tak ahh. jap jap. nak basuh la ni. kejap je. buat post satu.

okay,i just went out from a total emotional breakdown. i thought someone tu dah accident ke kene kidnapped ke.this is me i think of the worst scenario if i am not sure about something. dalam hati berdoa what i thought tu tidak akan jadi kenyataan ke atas setiap orang yang sangat disayangi.Alhamdulillah , Allah itu maha mengasihi. nothing bad happened. just that his bike stranded in the middle of the town and had to push it to nearest workshop. and walk home then walk back to town to go to his father sebab he left kunci rumah dekat dalam moto. then sampai bank hujan. die tunggu mama die amek dekat bank. then baru die boleh inform yours truly.

anyhow.. i love my family. i love him. may Allah always be with the people i love more than my own life.

what would made my house one day.

2011-01-04T06:37:00.000-08:00

one day , i dream to have a little house to live in with my husband and children. i want the house to feel cosy and homey. i want the house , though small , to feel large. i want the house , though small , to fit all of my family when they come for dinners or sleepovers.i want the house, though small , to have lots of berkat in it.i want the house , though small , to be filled with stacks of good books for my kids to read.i want the house , though small , to light up brighter than KLCC. i want the house , though small , to be filled with ♥

lanterns to light the small house
shared kids room but a lottttttttt kecik

cushiony living room (version lagi tecik)

dining tecik kat dapur comel

bedroom tecik tp cosy teramat

why shin chan?

2011-01-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

i was embracing my inner shinchan lover. me and my sibs used to never missed shin chan!

my sibs was worst fangirls. they would be pain in the asses of my parents and i if they dont get to see shin chan and his affiliate , doraemon.

they would literally threw out tantrums just because of the show. if we are out we got to make sure that we would be at home by the time shin chan and doraemon starts.

menyusahkan betul.

but i was quite happy too if we are home on the weekends so that i could watch the shin chan. and doraemon. every weekend. i secretly smile if my sibs threw tantrums. hahaha. (gelak shin chan)

p/s: shin chan mcm ala2 haziq azrin ;p

sarsi-fied tadika memory.

2011-01-04T05:30:00.000-08:00

dulu masa tadika , selalu dapat minum air sarsi. so whenever i drink sarsi it takes me 13 years back into the colourful weird smelling building of TADIKA AMAL.

tadika amal is situated very very very very painfully far from my house. it takes 2 minutes grueling walk from my house to the tadika. i used to curse all the way to tadika with my friends. hahaha tak ahhh..

yes , it was 2 minutes away. but because i was only 6 and my brother was only 5 , our parents paid for us to go on a cute bus. that was my only experience of going to school with a bus.

i remember one day , we had a farewell party (cheh party.. jamuan laa) and i had to bring a heavy casserole with fried mac in it. i was quite a huge 6 year old (bukan huge ape la.. tinggi. cehceh) so boleh2 la handle bende berat tu kan. plus i was excited la nak show off makanan mak kita masak. haha.

then masa kat tadika dulu ,kalau time rehat je boleh pegi main2 kat luar kelas tu. tp still dalam kompaun tadika. so tak merbahaya. ade jongkang jongket, bende panjat2 yang ada rantai besi tu , ada tayar2 lama separuh tanam dalam tar. dulu main je la panjat2 ke ape. bukan ade choice pun kan. then sekali tu datang la budak junior ni (budak 5 tahun la. masa tu aku 6 tahun. senior) ade ke dia main sukati je cakap he likes my little brother. without knowing why tetiba aku angin satu badan haha. berlaku perebutan adik di situ. (kalau sekarang ni jadi cmtu , kecik tapak tangan , tapak kaki gajah aku tadahkannnnn. sila la amek die)

p/s: i paused this post for a good 10 minutes sebab nak jahit badge kat baju skola loman. haha badge je pon dah 10 minute kan, then i lost the whole tadika vibe. prob i need more sarsi to take me back to those times. till then this is it!

the idea of being 20.

2011-01-04T00:19:00.000-08:00

a post to mark the year that i will turn 20. insyaAllah. may ALLAH give me the chance to grow older and be wiser.

in march 2011 , spesifically the 11th , i will be 20. though age is mere numbers , but it is also a clock ticker reminding that i have lived this long and a year less younger.

how do i feel about reaching the 20's (or rather living the teen age) ?

it's something i look forward to quite recently. in no way that i could stop growing up and i dont want to. i believe i am hungry for respect that comes with age. because as i aged, i walk more paths of life and that is when i will gain experiences.

what is my hope when i reach 20?

to be wiser and improved in small way , if not huge. insyaAllah.

hadiah bersalut mcdonald

2011-01-03T23:59:00.000-08:00

...punye paper bag!

lol.

another gift idea yang tak berapa hebat but it's new to me, again, to me.

first u need gifts.. or gift. anything will do.
(btw , my hand is aching to click shift before any symbol. sume handphone baru punye pasal. argh )
like mine , i have this super angkasawan shirt i bought for 29 ringgit. it comes with the paper food container. mula2 the girl who was at the stall said "sorry ar tade plastic bag" and i was like "oh okay2 sure2." sekali when i walk in front of the stall baru perasan ade display the shirts inside the paper container. and then i complaint "why i tak dpt mcm tuu" then the real owner datang and gave me the paper container. sekarang dah puas hati.
i also have a food keychain. it looks real. kalau tgh lapar and saw the keychain mesti mengidam sandwich kat obriens.

and then. i have the selections of burger king or mcdonald punya paper bag. since takde wrapper cantik2 just use the paperbag yang semalam dapat sebab pegi beli makanan kat situ.

and there we have it. mudahkan..sekarang tunggu orang yang nak dapat hadiah ni
balik kl.

F-G-A

2010-12-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

i was in that stage of life where i know that i am transisting in hundreds of ways. through out the transistions i came upon a lot of changes. but in the midst of all the changes , i also discovered that there are somethings or in this case someone , who will remain to be a CHILDHOOD friend.

but she isn't just a childhood friend that stays in my childhood. because she was in my childhood days, she is bound to forever be apart of my life (wether she likes it , or not :p).

a friend can come in so many forms. through out of my life i've made quite a few forms of friendships. i made friends in kindergarten (i cant really remember who , i mean , i was like , 6?) and some of those kindergartens friends are the ones i made friends with in primary and secondary and in my college years and become ultimate BFF. but what does a 12 year old really know about the last F = forever? sadly (or fortunately?) i lost contact with some of them. maybe it was meant to be that way. some friendship just last through and through while others got 'karam' somewhere in the middle.

but the thing with this childhood friend is , she is that person who really stay true to her words , she said she wont forget me and she never did. i shall say that most of the age-proff friendships that i have is due to the fact that i am a lucky G*** (that's girl btw :p) who befriended the friend-guardian-angel. they are constantly contacting me , asking me out , asking how i am , being there when i need them without really expecting something other than a friendship.

and my childhood friend , is one the first , and earliest f-g-a on my list:

natasha athirah mohd izhan

diversity

2010-12-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

love their dance! their choreography! i had no idea about them before got to dance and so i assume others desn't too. like abang for instance , i told him and he's like "ye ah ashley banjo tu blablabla and the kid is his brother blablabla da tgk flashmob dorg blablabla" my jaw dropped like whatthe! he knows before i do! LOL

am i mising like a good 100 years??

but anyhow they are talented people! of all shapes and sizes and ethnicity!

"OUR SIMILARITIES MAKE US STRONG

BUT

OUR DIFFERENCES MAKE US STRONGER"

- DIVERSITY

cewahhhh! :DIVERSITYsmile

painting galore.

2010-12-04T07:15:00.001-08:00

featuring LOMAN

squid + lychee + watercress combo

2010-12-04T06:27:00.000-08:00

i made this! it looks way better here than it really does. it tastes..... a bit.. twisted! the origin of this meal came from the day i had the best salad (at least better than any salad i had before , not that i eat salad all the time. in fact , this is my... third salad of a life time?). i went to the apartment with abang and ordered squid, lychee and watercress salad with chilli jam from the apartment. we seldom eat at the apartment , in fact that day was the first time! i ventured into light meal because i had very few RM and i am on a diet (again -_-). i tried it , and oh yes it tastes awesome. pure lycheeness in the midst of fresh watercress and marinated squid with a hint of spicyness.

i figured to pull off the same meal again at home (like , why the heck would i want to go to the apartment again.....) when i can try making it myself. at first. it looks simple. i could not go wrong with a Salad could i??? well. YES I COULD. like , big time.

i was so adventurous that i pour in some of the lychee syrup into the pan and grill the squid with it. and then i mixed the lychee, the squid and watercress together. and look at the pan full with lychee syrup all on its own.. i figured, why waste it when i can turn the salad into soup?? so i happily pour in the syrup into the plate and tah-dah! there you go.

i was hungry so i chummed down half of the meal eventough i was quite reluctant about it. could it be acidic if i mixed chilli jam (that i made and twist a bit too) with sweet syrup? i had no idea. (my chemistry is trash-leveled) i took a blind risk and eat and eat until i couldn't anymore. it is edible but it is not tasty.. it's overly spicy and the sweetness doesn't come out. the squid is like.. rubber.. but i love squid so much and squids does have rubber-like structure so i don't mind..

i am not giving the recipe because clearly it is a (badly) twisted meal. better luck next time!

Assalammualaikum.

inseparable.

2010-12-04T05:56:00.000-08:00

it feels weird that i haven't updated this space for days. hmm. it feels like i am abandoning something or losing a routine.

it has been long since ( i used a lot of 'it has been long since...' this year!) i last post a random, out of the neon pink (why must be 'out of the blue' right??) post. so here it goes.

oh! something cute but a bit scary happened today! my little brother LOMAN who is 9 years old next year cut his own hair this morning! LOL! the news made me shriek like crazyyyy i tell ya! i mean the scary part is , he could have hurt himself with the scissors! but what's cute is the end result of his snipping : bangs that have gap here and there and is totally shifted to one side! LOL. now ownder his hair looked weird this morning. i just thought that it was because his hair was wet (he had just finished his bath) but apparently , boy did some secret snip inside mama's room , hide the scissors back to its place but left the naked evident (a bunch of cutted hair) on mama's dressing table! LOL. how naive but naughty is that... hehe... loman always gave us a good laugh. i love you loman!

anyway , i just realised that this post is not so random after all. hehe.

bye.

my shot at CARAMELIZED PINEAPPLE & VANILLA ICE CREAM

2010-12-01T23:14:00.001-08:00

TAH DA!!! hehe. my very own shot at this one. pardon the background (dengan carpet and kain buruk tengah sidai bagai) i needed natural light so yang paling dekat and private skali is kat laundry area belakang rumah ;)

i sandwiched the caramelized pineapple between scoops of vanilla ice cream. and top it off with drizzles of homemade caramel! haha. it looks pretty good la kan (now that i have edited the pics and all) for other servings i put some pomegranate (delima) to make it up.

it tastes bitter sweet but a bit too much on the sweet side. maybe because i used canned pineapples which is already sweet on its own. should have used fresh pineapple but i am too lazy to cut it off and loose the 'mata' so i cheated! and the result is cheaty! hahah. not completely unedible but you have to bare the sweetness. for non-sweettoothed people like yours truly , it's a bit too much to handle.

it is not as easy as it looks , to cook. haha. if i ever get into masterchef sure kene bantai dengan gordon ramsay and the gang. "hang ni masak ka apa?? takdak selera laa aku nak makan lagu ni!" kata gordon ramsay. hahha. tetiba lak gordon jadi orang utara eh???

gave it to my ayah : hmm.ok la. aduih kak. panas! (hehe sori yah)

my ma : hm. oh eh ade delima eh? (laaa. delima yang jadi perhatian)
loman: ape tu?? (tell him nenas terus tanak makan. haihhh)

naja: aku nak rase dulu. (paksa jugak makan satu mangkuk) hmm bole makan la. (banyak komen. manis sangat la. keras la. haiihh)

naha: (lagi k.o. langsung taknak)

ajiq: (takde kat umah. so tak merasa la dia!)

even gave it to kakros (akak yang datang umah twice a week tolong kemas2 baju). she asked "kau letak jeruk ke??" hampeh .

normally when i cook i would give it to my guy to taste it. and he'll be all sweet even if it tastes like my foot ;p "takpe la.. baru first time..next time buat lagi sedap k!" hehe. about this dessert , i think he would say "hmm sedap! manisnya!" and struggle to finish it eventough i know it is tough to swallow like a bag of sugar ;p betul tak abang?!

anyhow, if you , want to try what i did , and surprise your loved ones..here's how.

u need : butter , pineapple (preferably fresh ones) , brown sugar , vanilla ice cream

method : deep pineapple into brown sugar (or sprinkle it over). heat the pan under medium heat. toss in butter (as much as you need) , let it heat until it's foamy. toss in the sugar coated pineapple and grill until golden brown /light brown (before it burns!). serve with ice cream and drizzle with the leftover caramel in the pan.

good luck and no cheating! ;)

arrival of new header.

2010-12-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

hehe. there is a sense of belonging there , for sure. what's with my signature and all. well , that's how to really put your trademark on something. just sign it off!

ketar-ketar tangan yang tak terhingga made it hard to make it seem effortless. but it is worth a try. tak lah terserlah sangat ketaran tu kan?

i was thinking of putting the same concept of header. that is to used pictures of things that made me , me. things have change so i would like to change the pictures on the header too. but it was too complicated. thus , i gave brith to this simple but loud header (the way i see it la)

i think it is cantik. i hope you think it is cantik too.